Disassociated Press

Florence - The truth is out there. We hear this a lot these days. Here's another truth many of us have been kept from.

"Da Vinci my ass. Leonardo this, Leonardo that. Michelangelo was privy to the 'truth' too, you know." So says Josh Micheletti President of the Michelangelo Society.

"Why is Leonardo getting all the credit? Because he had a few designs in a scrapbook? So did Michelangelo. We are very annoyed with all the credit that bum Dan Brown is giving Leo — even though we suspect the Vatican is behind his legal problems. We also believe Oprah is a stooge for the Catholic Church. Anyway, the reality is that it was the 'Michelangelo Code' that was protecting and preserving the truth about Jesus. The name Jesus (pronounced Je-Soo) itself is roughly translated from the French 'I knew.' As usual, people can't handle the truth," Mr. Micheletti explained in a private interview arranged by Moon Zuppa services.

The M-O Society (a.k.a. by hip insiders) is not taking this lightly. They will be going on the offensive with their own book and movie. The man rumored to take the project is Michael Moore. Tim Robbins and Mickey Rooney have the inside track to rival Tom Hanks for the role of Michelangelo. Denzel Washington, Danny Glover, Chris Rock, and Gary Coleman are in line to be the first black Michelangelo version of the flick.

Mr. Micheletti said, "Look, we have all these secret documents that were given to us by Michael Moore. We have the truth locked up, and it is time to disclose it to the world."