Celebutarts in Print: Britney Spears Rallies, Lindsay Lohan Tanks
Published December 08, 2006
Apparently few cared about her outrage, but comedian Will Ferrell was overheard telling Ben Affleck, Leonardo DiCaprio, and former Vice President Al Gore, "Who cares about that freak anymore, anyway?"
Fast forward to the present and it seems that according to Ms. Lohan, former VP Al Gore is giving her props. At least that's what her most recent paranoid booze-induced scrawls say, which, thankfully, she emailed to her entire address book.
"Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis [sic], and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK."
Al Gore's rep had this to say regarding LL's statement: "I can confirm to you that Mr. Gore has only met Ms. Lohan once, very briefly, at the GQ Men of the Year dinner last week. There were hundreds of other guests."
Here's an image of the entire email:
All I can say is WOWEE WOW WOW. If that's not the most glaring case for full committal at the place of quiet respite, I don't know what is.
Not sure who exactly is to blame for this most severe disintegration of a former promising actress, but it sure isn't me. I've been pulling for you Lindsay, but now I wash my hands, and perhaps my feet, of you. If you don't get your severely lodged cranium out of your rectal cavity soon, we will all be taking a moral inventory of your less than "adequite" life as we mourn your final act.
Dawn Olsen is a veteran blogger who proudly supports the guy who publishes this awesome site. She's also an avid reader of high quality tabloid fare, enjoys gardening and scatological skywriting.
- Celebutarts in Print: Britney Spears Rallies, Lindsay Lohan Tanks
- Published: December 08, 2006
- Type: News
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Video: News, Music: News, Culture: Media, Culture: Celebrity
- Writer: Dawn Olsen
- Dawn Olsen's BC Writer page
- Dawn Olsen's personal site
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Comments on this articleComments
That was a rip snorter Mr. Suss. Yo, like you busted my ass up.
Excellent work!!!!
Al Gore, Lindsey Lohan, Brittany, Bill Clinton !!! That would make a great video!!
Dawn, spot on as always. This is tremendous. I will hope to get to check in with you this week.
Suss, that was nearly perfect. If only you had managed to get the word "Va-jay-jay" in there, it would have gotten a 100%. That, Lindsay, is an A. You probably never got any of those.
Am I supposed to be able to read that email as it is? I thought I could click on it to enlarge it but that just took me to some other website.
Dawn....can't wait to hear your comments on Nicole Richie's drug induced little romp down the freeway in the wrong direction...fa..la.lalalal.. lalallallalahhhhhh.
Now here begins the mystery....the pot and the vicodin can't be the only thing she's on....where's the weightloss factor people?
Yeah, JS, it's not set up correctly. Just take my word for it, Lindsay's an incoherent, babbling brook of idiocy.
thanks for the perspective Dawn - it's easy to forget that not all celeb behavior is equal and not everyone is headed in the same direction. I really hope Lindsay can get it together - she's way too young to be this screwed up
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On the twelfth day of Christmas
Dawn Olsen gave to me:
Twelve Britneys flashin'
Eleven Costners jackin'
Ten Pitts a-cheatin'
Nine Sheens a-ragin'
Eight fires a-crotchin'
Seven Suris shriekin'
Six Avrils spittin'
PARIS IS A BIIIIIIIIIIITCH
Four dumped Lacheys
Three girls gone wild
Two sex tapes
And a Federline asleep on the couch