What a fabutastic few weeks of celebrity goodness! It's like Christmas came early and I was sprawled atop of Santa's Nice List, what with Britney Spears dumping K-Fed, dropping her drawers and palling around with my favorite mentally challenged celebrity Paris Hilton. The icing on this sweetass cake could only be Lindsay Lohan's final descent in madness. Oh wait, check that off my wish list!

In the spirit of the holidays, I have begun writing my own version of the most annoying Christmas ballad on record:

"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Britney Spears sans panties;
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two skanky hoes who like to party;
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A slew of crazy emails from a Firecrotch named Lindsay"

I'm sort of stuck there, maybe y'all can pitch in.

So yeah, back to Brit-Brit. When we last left our "junior diva" she was having difficulty remembering her underwear and was letting it all hang out with the likes of her new BFF Paris Hilton. Accusations of irresponsibility, child neglect, and a severe sense of foreboding for her future were rife. One week later, we have come full circle.

Early reports this week held that Britney's mother, Lynn Spears, was having trouble tracking down her eldest daughter, as were the agents at CPS. According to sources, the agency hasn't made official contact yet, but her family and handlers weren't waiting and were "trying to stage an intervention with (Spears' manager) Larry Rudolph's help."

Perhaps not coincidentally, Britney has now stepped up to quell the rising tide of negativity with a statement on her official website which both addresses the recent scandals and sets a more positive, if not coquettish, tone in light of her recent behavior:

It's been so long since I've been out on the town with friends. It's been almost 2 years since I've even celebrated my birthday. Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found freedom a little too far. Anyway, thank God for Victoria's Secrets' new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me.
page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4