SATIRE

Hell.com vs. Heaven.com Alexa Rankings: Who Wins?

Written by Berrybusyblog
Published October 28, 2006

With the recent auction of Hell.com, which was supposed to fetch $8 million (I doubt) for U.S. domain name broker, Hitsdomains.com, I pondered the Heaven vs. Hell online battle and their relative influence on the Internet.

I went to Alexa, which is not the overall authority, and looked at their respective Alexa rankings. Currently, Hell.com has an Alexa traffic ranking of 245,406, which isn’t bad, but it isn’t impressive, either. It failed to make the Top 100,000 sites on the 'net based on Alexa’s statistics of users who visit the website. If you are not familiar with the rankings, just remember the smaller, the better. The Hell.com site lacks simple features like email Satan, forums, demonic stories, or pictorial scenes of Hell. The site is a simple page with a black background that turns white when your mouse hovers over an image. Boring, Mr. Lucifer.

In contrast, Heaven.com has an Alexa traffic ranking 686,267 and also lacks inclusion into the Top 100,000 list of websites on the 'net, but it may have more of an influence. Apparently, God and Jesus can be emailed for prayers and they list submissions people email them. On September 21, a 13-year-old kid by the name of Robert emailed God and asked for advice on how to get a girl he liked. “I would like to find enough courage in me to talk too [sic] a wonderful girl that you have created,” is what is said, then it goes on for several more sentences. Very trendy, I think.

Despite Heaven’s traffic numbers and multiple interactive features, the conclusion can be drawn that Hell is more popular than Heaven and, although this is a generalized comparison, I believe it is true when it comes to devilish websites versus religious websites (regardless of the denomination). The numbers don’t lie; Hell is more popular when it comes to location.

God.com has an Alexa traffic ranking of 254,178 and Satan.com tops out at 1,868,672, so God wins Homecoming King and Satan takes the runner-up position. I guess people are more concerned about the location rather than the beings themselves, or vice versa. They all even out, honestly. The traffic rankings fail to draw a clear distinction between the opposite forces, whether you believe in them or not, but it was interesting to do a little research on domain spiritual warfare.

God bless.

I'm an average guy who runs www.berrybusyblog.com. Come visit us.
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Hell.com vs. Heaven.com Alexa Rankings: Who Wins?
Published: October 28, 2006
Type: Satire
Section: Culture
Filed Under: Sci/Tech: Internet, Culture: Religion, Culture: Humor and Satire
Writer: Berrybusyblog
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Comments

#1 — October 28, 2006 @ 14:10PM — Lono [URL]

as Bart Simpson taught us:

'Mom, everyone knows all the good bands are affiliated with Satan'

ah, from the mouth of babes...

#2 — October 30, 2006 @ 18:33PM — Jim Bumgardner [URL]

Hi, this is Jim Bumgardner, the guy who runs heaven.com. I think I may have an explanation for the lower (better) alexa ranking for hell.com - hell.com for some years has had a bit of a user-community, whereas heaven.com doesn't really get too much in the way of repeat business.

To be honest, I really haven't had much time to develop heaven.com, as I've been much more concerned with other sites (krazydad, and coverpop being the main ones for me).

#3 — November 2, 2006 @ 06:06AM — diana hartman [URL]

I am pleased to tell you this article is being featured in the Culture Focus today, November 2nd.

Diana Hartman
Culture Editor

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