Dear Elsa,

I try so hard to make friends, but get rejected constantly.

I try to do everything right: I listen, I respond to what I listen to, I ask follow up questions. For some reason, people don't respond positively to me. I'm a nice person and think I would be a good friend to have. Is there something I can do based on my astrological background to allow me to connect better with people?

Trouble Making Friends

Dear Trouble,

I’ll be honest with you. I’m a little bit baffled, because I think you’d be a good friend to have just by reading this. You’re honest, you’re humble, and you want to connect. These are all exemplary characteristics. They are hallmarks of a person worth knowing. And there is nothing in your chart suggesting you are any more broken than the rest of us, so I am going to have to take a guess what the problem may be, okay?

Could you be trying too hard? Because you are a Virgo with Venus in Virgo in the 11th house. Virgo wants to be perfect and the 11th house is concerned with friendship. So are you trying to be the “perfect friend”? Because I could see where that might be off-putting. Think about it. People are all jacked up. Every single one of them! And then here you come, all perfect and everyone turns their back.

You know, I’ve seen this out in the world. In the gym, specifically. I go to a gym and have for years. And I go at roughly the same time of day, so I am familiar with most people... I know them all to some degree. But there are two women in there who really stand out, for the simple fact that the whole gym ignores them. Not avoids them. Ignores them. And one of them tried to talk to me some years ago when I first started going.

She tried. She fell all over herself trying to make nice with me and it creeped me out. “You aren’t real?” I thought. “Get away from me, you Stepford Person.” And I could see she was hurt by my lack of response. I could feel her pain! But I still didn’t want to be her friend.

And I watched this happen to this gal several more times with other people and now, some years later, she doesn’t even try to connect. Expecting rejection, she just cuts through the gym, like everyone hates her and I don’t think they do. They just sense she can not be accessed in a way that is genuine. And I feel very sorry for her. And I know this is a horrible story, but it’s the only thing I can think of to explain your plight.

So remember, this is a GUESS. But if it resonates with you, well you’re going to have to relax. People like people who fart, you know? Because they fart. People want to talk to people, not Barbie. And you are a person; it’s obvious from your mail.

So how about going out in the world, like you did with this email, leading with your fears and insecurities – your humanness. And see if you don’t get some takers. Because I bet you I'm not the only one who finds the person who wrote this question appealing without reservation.

Good luck.