I have been anticipating tonight since the season two finale ended. I haven’t been this excited about TV since... well, ever. The season three premiere of Lost was like some crazy primitive religious rite. Fans and friends have been hyping it up for months. I was literally shaking with anticipation.

And then it began.

There are people in a house discussing a book. Who are these people? This must be a flashback. I had heard the new season was going to focus on the Others, so maybe this is a flashback to one of their early lives. The discussion gets heated and then there is something. An earthquake.

The house shakes and the people move close together, near support beams. The shaking stops and they run outside. It is a lovely looking place, bright sun, and blue skies, like the suburbs of paradise. Then someone, a worker or someone, pops out from underneath something. Is that Ethan?

Holy shit, it is. This must be Ethan's backstory. But no, there’s Henry Gale. This must be the aftermath of the explosion from the end of last season. What’s that in the sky? It is a plane — crashing.

It’s Flight 815. We’re seeing the crash from the Others' point of view. Immediately Gale orders the Others to investigate, and specifically tells Ethan to pretend he is a survivor.

Bam, commercial. Wow! That’s all I can say. Even my wife is impressed and she has totally lost her Lost momentum this summer.

After the break, we see what the Others have done to Kate, Sawyer, and Jack. Kate is in a large cinderblock building with Zeke telling her to take a shower. She is as defiant as ever, but does take the shower only to find her clothes missing and a new girly dress in its place.

Sawyer awakes in a cage. It looks like something out of a whacky circus and there is an unknown man in the next cage. Sawyer uses his usual charm to question the man, but gets nothing but silence in return. Amongst a variety of odd gadgets located in the cage, Sawyer spies one marked with a fork and knife. Pushing it, he gets only a warning. Pushing it again, the strange man warns him not to do it again. Sawyer does it again and is electrocuted.

Jack awakes in a small windowless room with one wall made out of a strong invisible plexiglass type substance.

Commercial break number two. What the fuck? We’re 14 minutes in and already at the second break! Last season was bad enough with commercials every 10 minutes, now we’re down to seven? Those bastard network executives.

After the break we're back to Jack and now he’s pulling on some chain, trying to escape. A woman enters and offers him food. Jack refuses, playing the strong, stubborn Gandhi.

Kate is taken to the beach where she has breakfast with Henry Gale, who tells her he wanted her to have a pleasant memory because the next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant.

The unknown man in the cage next to Sawyer breaks free and lets Sawyer out. They run, but Sawyer is quickly captured by the woman who has been talking to Jack. Zeke makes the other escapee apologize to Sawyer before being taken away.