Dear Elsa,

I've been friends with a male Scorpio for about 20 years now. He's twelve years my junior. Since August of 2004, I've noticed little looks, stares, and lots of attention. Just recently, at a large, loud party, he whispered something in my ear about me being beautiful. I could go on and on with these incidents.

There's no avoiding him; he's a family friend and we all hang out with the same crowd. We are both married. I know for a fact he is terribly unhappy. I’m not happily married either, and haven’t been in a long time. My husband and I stay together for financial reasons.

Now I'm not the cheating type. He is. I'm finding it harder and harder to go anywhere if I know he's going to be there, because I don't trust myself. He's a handsome grown man and I find myself thinking about him all of the time. I haven't been intimate with my husband for over five years, so you can imagine what I must be feeling.

Any insight you have to offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time.

Neglected Wife

Dear Neglected,

You’re really very sweet, with your loyalty and your integrity. These are two qualities I admire and value very highly and I don’t think you should compromise them. That said, you really need to change your life, don’t you? So I’ll tell you how I would go about this if I were you and then you can do whatever you want.

First, with the Scorp, having decided I was not going to screw him, I would ask him directly to take his energy off me. He won’t like it, but it will solve the problem and it’s possible you can remain/go back to being “friends.” Because as it stands now, he is a "sink." He is sucking your energy and diverting your focus.

Next, I would take this whole episode as a "wake up call." I would take it as proof that, as a matter of fact, I am not dead and I do want a lover. And since my husband has not touched me for five years, I would start looking at what I was going to need to do to become financially independent from my him so I could leave him, and hopefully go on to live the rest of my life with physical contact. Last, I would execute my plan.

Now on the astrology, what you have is a Uranus transit to your exact Moon, Mars conjunction in Pisces exactly opposed Jupiter in Virgo and I have to bet you are going to get free by 2007, when the transit completes, sort of like this:

“I’m fed up and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

And screwing some guy 12 years younger definitely fits with this transit. I totally recommend it, but find one who is single, and tell your husband you’re out of there first, okay? Because you've waited this long and it doesn't sound like you want to compromise your standards or your integrity.

Good luck.