Folks, you don't want to fool with Weird Alfred Matthew Yankovic, cause he's Straight Outta Lynwood, and he will hurt you. This album runs largely toward rap parodies, but I'm curious about the "Canadian Idiot" as well. Hey, Green Day is dumb enough to be Canadian. I'm just saying. Anyway, this comes on a Dual Disc, with animations for half a dozen songs, plus karaoke versions of the whole album with scrolling lyric sheets.

Solomon Burke returns to his rootsy country origins with Nashville. For starters, I'm real curious to hear him singing Tom T Hall's classic "That's How I Got to Memphis." Bruce Springsteen fans may be interested in hearing the country soul version of "Ain't Got You."

Janet Jackson has a new album, in which she apparently is backing away from the cheap supposedly "risque" nonsense. Lacking significant talent other than by the association of her rapidly-losing-value family name and having thoroughly discredited herself with the infamous Superbowl Titty Massacre, it's not likely to make a hell of a lot of difference.

Ludacris has a CD called Release Therapy. I can't quite remember any of his actual songs, but anybody who cheeses Bill O'Reilly off as bad as this guy can't be all bad.

But screw all that, the groovy action is a three CD box of Fats Waller, If You Got to Ask, You Ain't Got It!. Obviously, Fats didn't have to ask, and this looks like it would be about the best collection of him I've seen.

You know I love Tori Amos, but my eyes glaze over just looking at the listings for this big, expensive 5 CD set A Piano: The Collection. She hasn't made all that many albums. This has some whole albums, plus alternate takes and other leftovers, with a fancy book and all. This would be good for obsessives, but it's way too much for a normal human to listen to. Two CDs would hold all the Tori Amos even a (reasonably) devoted fan could stand to listen to. Of course, she's still young.

Here's the complete list of this week's major new releases, courtesy AMG:

Janet Jackson 20 Y.O. Virgin
Contemporary R&B, Urban, Adult Contemporary

Ludacris Release Therapy Disturbing Tha Peace/Def Jam
Dirty South, Southern Rap, Hardcore Rap

Fats Waller If You Got to Ask, You Ain't Got It! Bluebird/Legacy
Jive, Classic Jazz, Stride, Swing

Adem Love and Other Planets Domino
Indie Pop, Singer/Songwriter

Tori Amos A Piano: The Collection Rhino
Adult Alternative Pop/Rock, Singer/Songwriter, Alternative Pop/Rock

Jay Bennett The Magnificent Defeat Rykodisc
Adult Alternative Pop/Rock, Singer/Songwriter, Indie Rock

Tony Bennett Duets: An American Classic RPM/Columbia
Vocal Jazz, Traditional Pop, Standards, American Popular Song

Solomon Burke Nashville Shout! Factory
Country-Soul, Soul

Nels Cline New Monastery Cryptogramophon
Structured Improvisation, Free Improvisation, Avant-Garde Jazz, Modern Creative

Natalie Cole Leavin' Verve
Contemporary R&B, Adult Contemporary

Enigma A Posteriori EMI
Club/Dance, Ethnic Fusion, Neo-Classical

Escape the Fate Dying Is Your Latest Fashion Epitaph
Post-Hardcore, Emo

Flat Earth Society Psychoscout Crammed Disc
Progressive Big Band, Experimental Big Band, Avant-Garde Jazz, Jazz-Rock, Avant-Prog

Jerry Garcia The Very Best of Jerry Garcia Rhino
Jam Bands, Folk-Rock, Roots Rock, Country-Rock, Blues-Rock, Rock & Roll

Hedley Hedley Capitol
Punk-Pop, Alternative Pop/Rock

Dave Hollister The Book of David, Vol. 1: The Transition Zomba
Contemporary Gospel, Urban, Contemporary R&B

Keith Jarrett The Carnegie Hall Concert ECM
Avant-Garde Jazz, Modern Creative

James Judd Douglas Lilburn: A Song of Islands; Aotearoa Overture; Forest Naxos
Contemporary Orchestral Works

Paavo Jarvi Britten: 4 Sea Interludes; The Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra; Elgar: Enigma Variations Telarc
Modern Orchestral Music

Ladyfinger (ne) Heavy Hands Saddle Creek
Hard Rock, Alternative Metal, Post-Grunge, Alternative Pop/Rock

The Lemonheads The Lemonheads Vagrant
Adult Alternative Pop/Rock

John Lennon The U.S. vs John Lennon Capitol/EMI
Album Rock, Pop/Rock, Singer/Songwriter

Sean Lennon Friendly Fire Capitol/EMI
Alternative Pop/Rock

London Voices Paul McCartney: Ecce Cor Meum EMI
Contemporary Choral Music

George Lopez El Mas Chingon Oglio
Observational Humor, Standup Comedy

Lucero Rebels, Rogues & Sworn Brothers Liberty & Lament
Alternative Country-Rock, Indie Rock, Rock & Roll

Luny Tunes/Tainy Mas Flow: Los Benjamins Machete Music
Reggaeton

Dave Matthews Live Trax, Vol. 6: 7/7 - 7/8/2006 Fenway Park, Boston Ma. RCA
Jam Bands, American Trad Rock, Adult Alternative Pop/Rock

Christian McBride/Javon Jackson/Jimmy Cobb/Cedar Walton New York Time Chesky
Mainstream Jazz, Standards, Post-Bop

Medeski/Scofield/Martin/Wood Out Louder Indirecto
Jam Bands, Post-Bop, Fusion, Jazz-Funk, Soul-Jazz

Stanton Moore III Telarc
Soul-Jazz, Jazz-Funk

Konstantin Scherbakov Shostakovich: Piano Sonata No. 2; The Limpid Stream; A Child's Exercise Book Naxos
Modern Piano Music

Fredrik Ullen Ligeti: Complete Piano Music Bis
Contemporary Piano Music

Robert Randolph Colorblind Warner Bros.
Jam Bands, Boogie Rock, Blues-Rock

Tommy Roe It's Now Winters Day [Bonus Track] Fallout
Sunshine Pop, Pop, Psychedelic Pop

Saosin Saosin [CD/DVD] Capitol
Screamo, Post-Hardcore, Alternative Metal, Alternative Pop/Rock

Klaus Schulze Ballett 1 Revisited
Electronic

Scissor Sisters Ta Dah Universal/Motown
Pop/Rock, Club/Dance

Solillaquists of Sound As If We Existed Anti
Neo-Soul, Alternative Rap, Underground Rap

Sparklehorse Dreamt for Light Years in the Belly of a Mountain Astralwerks
Noise Pop, Dream Pop, Alternative Country-Rock, Alternative Pop/Rock

Subhumans New Dark Age Parade Alternative Tentacles
Punk

Ronan Tynan The Dawning of the Day Decca
Classical Crossover

Various Artists Eccentric Soul, Vol. 11: Mighty Mike Lenaburg Numero
R&B, Soul

Various Artists Friends of Old Time Music: The Folk Arrival Smithsonian Folkways
Folksongs, Folk Revival, Folk-Blues, Traditional Folk, Traditional Country, Old-Timey, Acoustic Blues

Mario Vazquez Mario Vazquez Arista
Contemporary R&B, Urban, Latin Pop

David S. Ware BalladWare Thirsty Ear
Avant-Garde Jazz, Modern Free, Avant-Garde, Modern Creative

Westbound Train Transitions Hellcat
Ska Revival, Contemporary Reggae

Paul Westerberg Open Season [Original Soundtrack] Lost Highway
Adult Alternative Pop/Rock, Singer/Songwriter, Alternative Pop/Rock

Wolf Eyes Human Animal Sub Pop
Experimental, Electronic, Industrial, Noise

Ron Wood Ronnie Wood Anthology: The Essential Crossexion EMI
Rock & Roll

Weird Al Yankovic Straight Outta Lynwood Zomba
Song Parody, Comedy Rock, Novelty,