Satire: Dave Mustaine, Groundbreaking Political Visionary
Published August 25, 2006
I was reading an article about Megadeth's upcoming album and I saw this quote from band leader and singer, Dave Mustaine:
- "I was watching TV and saw the trucks that said 'UN' on them and said, 'Man, you are so uncool, ineffective, anything," the singer/guitarist (Dave Mustaine) said in a recent Billboard interview.
"I thought, 'Wow, I've got to run with this. I got it — United Abominations, 'cause it's an abomination what they're doing!' "
Wow. Dave, you are a super genius and I don't find any of what you just said trite, boring, or particularly dull and toothless.
While we are at it, Dave, I have some more tips for you to help you on your quest to become a completely OUTRAGEOUS purveyor of groundbreaking thought, opinion, and commentary.
Why not start doing standup comedy and talk about how "weird" it is that they call that building that the passengers leave from a "terminal." That's interesting, right? You ought to run with that.
Or maybe you can do a hip hop song that celebrates a "bling" lifestyle. It isn't like everyone on earth including Kevin Federline is doing that, right? Run with it Dave, and tell us about rims, champaigne and chains.
Or maybe you can go to Hollywood and be one half of a buddy relationship while working on a police force! That's not all, it gets even better, Dave. We will make your partner black because you are white and there can be a lot of commentary that gets at the heart of not only what makes the races different, but in the end strikingly the same. Because we haven't seen that done 2,347 times before. Seriously, that is groundbreaking stuff. You ought to run with it.
If those ideas don't work for you, maybe you can join professional baseball and talk about how it isn't a sprint, but a marathon. And if you really want to blow the roof off the world you can tell everyone you are just taking it "one game at a time" and you aren't worried about "individual achievements" because you are all about the team!
Seriously dude. You need to run with it. These are just groundbreakingly awesomely unbelievable ideas that are just waiting to be taken and carried forward by some kind of cultural visionary. And you, Dave, just might be that person. You totally blew us away with your last batch of thoughts. To think that the United (Abomi)Nations are "inneffective" and more importantly "uncool."
WHOA!
I am hopeful you will take my ideas and do something really neat with them, Dave. It sure would be nice to see.
Craig Lyndall rants, raves and writes other stuff at FilteringCraig.com and at The Cleveland Sports Curse
- Satire: Dave Mustaine, Groundbreaking Political Visionary
- Published: August 25, 2006
- Type: Satire
- Section: Music
- Filed Under: Music: Metal
- Writer: Craig Lyndall
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Yeah, because any other musician(Neil Young) in any other genre besides Metal(Pothead Hippy Folk) has such complex views(War is Bad,Drugs are Good) and touches on them with such brilliant vocabulary(Dude,Man,WHOA!).
Brian,
If you think that Neil Young thinks drugs are good, I'd suggest another listen to "The Needle And The Damage Done".
-Glen
Glen, I'm pretty sure most people can realize the dangers of Heroin use but Mr. Young is a regular Marijuana user
Fox News: "Young, you may remember, said in a 2002 biography that while he draws the line at doing drugs he considers life-threatening, he remains addicted to marijuana, but tries not to smoke too much so as not to "set a bad example for the kids."
And the mere fact that he considers his new release to be "Metal Folk Protest" just goes to show that he is quite dilluted!
um, don't quote fox news on neil young... it's just a bad idea. first of all, there is no addiction to marijuana. second, i don't think he worries about "the kids" to much. third, the album is neither metal nor folk, it's not even mid-way between... it's just straight up rock and he knows it. "pothead hippy folk?" is that what you think neil young does?
Zing...Yup,"Pothead Hippy Folk" just about sums it up!! Go ahead and read the "Watch Ben Run" lyrics on his new album and then tell me what you think. Ofcourse, as with any debate on BC, people can only get mad... I was making a popular comparison to back up the fact that Mustaine's views aren't really stupid. But, if I have to point that out,then we are all in trouble.
oi... you know he's done plenty of stuff other than "pothead hippy folk" music. tonight's the night, rust never sleeps, on the beach... shit any of his mid-late 70's work will do.
i love mustaine (because metallica sucks), but his statement, even if out of context, was more hippy-dippy than anything young has said as of late.
you do make broad-stroke statements, don't you? going to read lyrics now...
not finding any such song
And "as of late" is what we are discussing! I could care less about Young's 70's works. I'm talking about today... "watch Ben Run" is from some old children books that teach kids how to read. Neil's new stuff reminds of that. In essence I was responding to the first poster that indirectly said that Metal Musicians are stupid... I may make broad stroke statements to you because I have to explain everything. Man..Do you live under a rock??
ok...
what have you needed to explain? that young only makes hippy folk? that's not true, as you know very well... in fact, the latest album isn't hippy folk, so i don't know what the hell you are talking about. but that's not because i live under some rock, it's because your statements are just mininformed opinions based more on hitting back at someone who offended your sensibilities. get over it.
i agree that the original post is dumb. it was meant to be. mustaine's statement was kinda dumb. calling the UN "uncool" is not the height of political discourse. and what does "anything" say? it was obviously off-the-cuff and doesn't really reflect on mustaine's intellect, but it does make for an easy target.
FUCK U, U SHIT-LICKER!!! Dave Mustaine is an awesum musician and a cool guy, if u have a problem with that then u can go fuck urself instead of writing shit bout him in ur spare time! If u have nothing better to do than to make fun of people who are a truck load cooler than u then i suggest u get into sports or something that will take up your time, preventing you from having a life boring enough that the funnest thing u can think of doing is dissing the best Rythm Guitarist in the world!
Dave should write a song about how many times he has cheated on his wife with groupies. That would be so much more interesting than his lame attempts at political commentary. The new Megadeth album is gonna stink bad full of songs with crap lyrics about politics and religion. Go Dave! Join the PMRC buddy!
The vast majority of artists have a simplified political view. Off hand, the only exception I can think of is Bob Dylan, who realized that there was much more to the world than the idealistic liberal views he used to advocate(read the lyrics to "My Back Pages).
Regardless, the albums Rust in Peace(1990) and Peace Sells...But Who's Buying(1986) are metal classics. What more can you ask from an artist?
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Wow, what a newsflash. A metal musician has a simplistic view of the world. I'm shocked beyond words.