Bruno Kirby: Rest in Peace, Pal
Published August 24, 2006
Kirby’s career reached its nadir when he was billed 21st in a William Baldwin vehicle called One Eyed King. The act of merely referring to William Baldwin as an “actor” is a felony in 22 states. While at some websites, fans and the occasional reviewer mentioned a break between Kirby and Crystal, details were lacking, and any journalistic dispatches seemed to be lost in pre-Internet newspaper morgues. There was nothing in the New York Times archive, including Times Select.
A cached, anonymous, undated entry at the no-longer-functioning O Inquirer states, “Kirby was slated to co-star in City Slickers II [1994], but a falling out with producer-star Billy Crystal led to his role being given to weight-gaining Jon Lovitz. The details of the feud have never been spelled out. More recently, Kirby, always stocky, appears to have packed on some weight.” (The "O" in O Inquirer appears to stand for "overweight.")
Finally, I found a USA Today story, dated July 12, 2001. Reporter Susan Wloszczyna interviewed Crystal along with Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones and John Cusack, as part of a press junket for the actors’ just-released movie, America’s Sweethearts. For the set-up, Wloszczyna had asked the performers for their worst junket story:
Wloszczyna: The press has been maybe a little too invasive, I would say, with some of you. But I never really read that much dirt about you, Billy.
Crystal: That's good.
Wloszczyna: The only thing I could come up with is that when you were making City Slickers II, you and Bruno Kirby had a falling out.
Crystal: He wasn't in City Slickers II.
Wloszczyna: Yeah, I know, but there was some reason that he didn't do it. Are you guys still friends?
Crystal: I haven't spoken to him — I think we are. I haven't seen him or spoken to him in a long time.
Wloszczyna: That's the best I could come up with.
Roberts: I've talked to Bruno.
Cusack: I talked to him this morning.
Crystal: This is a perfect situation. We're here to talk about the movie, and you're talking about something personal or whatever it is that happened, I don't know, eight, nine years ago.
Wloszczyna: But it's about the movie, because the subject of the movie is the press and famous people.
Crystal: So now you're my worst junket story.
“I think we are” still friends? “Something personal or whatever it is that happened, I don't know, eight, nine years ago”? “Whatever”? With a guy you went from being practically vaudeville partner with, to not seeing or speaking with “in a long time”?
Had it not been for Susan Wloszczyna’s questions, and Crystal’s flustered responses, you could wonder: Did Kirby somehow screw up? Was it just one of those things? Or was this a case of a star who let his stardom go to his head, and iced a guy’s career, just because he could?
I guess the moral of the story is, never disagree with your “best friend” in Hollywood, if you’re the second banana, and he’s the star and the producer. Apparently, what Harry Truman said about friendship in Washington, applies to Hollywood, as well: “If you want a friend… get a dog.”
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Comments on this article
beatiful, informative, touching job Nicholas, thanks!