Dear Elsa,

I am a Libra in love with a Virgo man. We have such a strong connection. I thought everything was going great until he turned around and said that we lived too far apart (1.5 hours) and it would never work.

I am so upset because things were so good and fantastic between us, but he said it was too difficult being so far apart. I asked why not give it a chance and see, and he said he was already attached and didn’t want to get more attached and hurt. I haven’t called him, even though I really want to, but I figure he would call me if he was interested.

Should I move on and see what else is out there...or just keep pining for a love it seems I can’t have??

Libra in Love

Dear Libra,

Well I suppose you’ll move on eventually, yes? Because he’s not coming to you, nor is he asking you to come to him. So really, it’s like the whole team has gone home and you’re still standing there on the mound, wondering.

Well, apparently you’re wondering how he could opt out when everything was so grand and here is the little bit you’re missing. It wasn’t grand for him! It was whatever it was, but it was not "good and fantastic” as you describe it, at least not from his perspective. And looking in this direction will lead you to the door out.

Instead on going on and on in your mind, pining for this great thing you lost, try to stand in his shoes. Try to hear what he is telling you – if not in words, then by the choice he’s made. Your relationship was something to him, but not enough for him to want to continue to invest.

And don’t miss the important thing here, which is this: your reality of something is not necessarily going to jibe with another person’s read on things. You have Venus conjunct Neptune in your chart…famous for pining, but this is another manifestation of the same aspect. That is, fantasizing/blurring the loved one to such a degree you have no idea who they are and how they feel.

I imagine this hurts, and I’m sorry about that. But from a fellow Venus Neptune who’s learned the hard way, I can tell you for sure you will have to look at these tendencies at some point – if you want to be part of a relationship that is actually “good and fantastic”…for both parties.

Good luck.