Those Swiss lulled us into a belief they were this adorable little country that couldn't harm a fly, all the while feeding us Toblerone until we don't know what hit us.

Rather, until Italy doesn't know what hit them.

The blow hath been struck. A Swiss curling team has lured away Italian curling sensation Joel Retornaz from his home country. Retornaz, who skipped Team Italy in the 2006 Olympics, will vice-skip for a team led by Swiss national player Claudio Pescia. Maledicalo!

Before I go any further, yes I am reporting on curling in August. Baseball's pennant chases, NFL training camp, and NCAA previews are all top stories here in the States. And here I am — with the opportunity to bring some delicious insight into any of these three scalding-hot topics — writing about curling. European curling.

So let's put this story in American perspective. Imagine if our crimson-haired posterboy Shaun White, fresh off winning his first gold medal, took his tomato-hued locks north of the border and represented Canada in next year's Winter X Games. Since extreme sports are not our prime sport, we'll survive. But the border cross would no doubt elicit a puzzling, almost irritable "what the hell?" from even the casual sports fan.

During the Winter Olympics, Retornaz was Italy's Shaun White. The 23-year-old held rock star status with his spiked hair and dark-rimmed glasses. But rather than land a No. 1 single on the charts, he made curling the No. 1 sport in Italy, if only for a few days. The height of Italy's curling fever came when Retornaz led his team to victory over eventual gold medal winner Canada in a round robin match. Team Italy finished better than predicted, placing seventh in the round robin after losing their final game 10-2 to — well, isn't this a coinkydink — Claudio Pescia and Switzerland.