CHICAGO — I had no idea when I was going to Chicago we would see all of Orlando.

Specifically, Arizona Diamondbacks' second baseman Orlando Hudson, the star of Monday night's game vs. the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field.

But the man showed his speed, defense, and hitting all in one night as the D-Backs coiled around the Cubs and squeezed 'em silly 15-4. Hudson hit two home runs, including a grand slam, for a total of 6 RBI. One homer came from each side of the plate, and he scored three times.

Despite an error in the field, Hudson began three double plays, two of which involved spectacular catches. Oh, and he stole a base for good measure. Not bad for the 7-hitter.

But enough about the game, for it's time to talk about the important stuff: I peed in a trough.

It wasn't my first time peeing in a trough – many a high school football stadium of yesteryear provided nothing but a series of urine-soaked canals leading to a drain – but emptying my bladder in a historic ballpark merits noting. So now you know.

Believe it or not, the awe of Wrigley Field expanded beyond tinkling in an open basin next to sweaty Chicagoans. The real proof was in the attendance. The game temperature was etched in the box score as 94 degrees, with the humidity putting the heat index right around 100. Yet over 39,000 fans packed Wrigley to watch a desolate team – who, hours ago, traded their most famous player, Greg Maddux – play a slightly better team. It's been 98 years since the Cubs won the World Series, but one couldn't detect, from the impressive fan showing, just how perennially pathetic the franchise performs. Although the fans filing out of the stadium after Arizona scored its 15th run was a dead giveaway.

The biggest challenge for us, the fans, was getting to the city, parking, and finding a hotel. I was quite proud with our plan for attending a Wrigley Field game, and I highly recommend the following process for anyone coming from Ohio – so the following applies to exactly two of you:

1. Stay at a hotel outside of Chicago. We're talking way outside. At least a half hour from Illinois. Our destination was a Holiday Inn Express in Portage, Indiana.

2. Park at Chicago's DeVry University. The Cubs run a shuttle from DeVry to Wrigley, and it's only $6 to park. I spent more on bottled water alone.

3. Pee in a trough and tell your friends about it.