Stop what you are doing.  Get in your car.  If you're already in your car you don't have to stop what you are doing.  You may remain in your car. 

Drive to your nearest music retailer.  Buy Guster's Keep it Together and Ganging Up on the Sun.  If they do not have these CDs at your retailer, throw a brick through their window and race to a computer and order these CDs.  Then, go to iTunes and download the following songs:

• "Jesus on the Radio" from Keep it Together (20)
• "Amsterdam" from Keep it Together (14)
• "One Man Wrecking Machine" from Ganging Up on the Sun (8)
• "Ruby Falls" from Ganging Up on the Sun (8)
• "Dear Valentine" from Ganging Up on the Sun (9)

You might be asking yourself why you are paying to download these songs from iTunes when you just ordered the CDs (assuming your music retailer now has a brick where their window used to be).  There is a very good answer for this. You must not allow one more day of your life to pass without hearing these songs! Then, the albums will arrive and you can enjoy the many other wonderful songs on these wonderful albums.

I understand I am being awfully free with your hard-earned money.  If you have never believed a word I have said, believe me now. These records will make your schlong (or your rack if you are sans schlong) bigger. These records will make your ass tighter and your stomach smaller.  These songs will achieve peace in our lifetime and feed the hungry. You will be a better person by 221%!  I can prove it. I wrote an article in the June issue of Scientific Proof Magazine.  I would not steer you wrong.  The birds will sing.  The children will dance.  You must do this, and do it now. 

So you still need convincing?  Just know, while you are stalling, the bits you want larger could be larger and the regions you want shrunk could already be smaller had you just listened to me.  Two or three kids starved while you resisted.  But, if convincing is needed, allow me to provide the persuasion. 

What makes these songs terrific?  I discussed the Ganging Up on the Sun songs with Sir Saleski in our collaborated Fanboy piece.  If you have already read that, you should already own Ganging Up on the Sun.  If you have not done so, there will be a refresher course.  For now, let's start with the pair from Keep it Together.

"Jesus on the Radio" - This one is easy is to love.  It's only two minutes.  The banjo and acoustic guitar rollick.  The melody is wonderful, but is the brilliant harmonies that force you to put this song on repeat, repeat, repeat.  It's the simplest recipe but it makes the finest damn song your ears will hear all day.  You don't have to work at it.  It's pleasing to the ears.