Superman doesn’t so much battle Luthor as he meddles in his plans. Most of the film goes by before Superman gets around to Luthor, roughly the amount of time it would take the FBI to snare him. They share perhaps four minutes of screen time, during which Superman walks up to Luthor and allows himself to be stabbed with kyptonite.

Did this make sense during any of the numerous production phases of the film? Of all the ways Superman could be exposed to kryptonite, the writers decided that simply allowing his archenemy to hit him with it at point blank range would be the most effective. In Dark Night Returns, arguably the most well thought of comic ever written, Batman defeats Superman by shooting him with a cannon, a kryptonite arrow, and jolting him with the electricity supply of an entire city. If Superman Returns was canonical to the comics, then Batman only needs to begin mouthing off to Superman and keeping that kryptonite arrow in his pocket.

There exist precious few action sequences, which are visually spectacular but not very exciting. Superman doesn’t do anything that we haven’t seen during the comic film bonanza of the past few years. The filmmakers mistook the wholesomeness of the character for blandness, and subscribe to the Batman Begins school of lighting, which erroneously believes that dim is a synonym for gritty.

Throughout the film, I couldn’t help but recall Spider-Man 2 and United 93, two infinitely better cinematic experiences. Comparing Superman to Spider-Man, Superman can’t match up as an interesting character; while Superman takes me-time in space and tends to look at humanity with a glint that could be condescending, Spider-Man makes tremendous personal sacrifices in order to put his abilities to good use. United 93 tells the true story of the doomed 9/11 flight where ordinary plane passengers fought their hijackers, likely saving a lot of lives in the process. One film is fantastical, the other factual, but mention the word hero to me, and I’d think of either of those films long before I would Superman Returns. Does the world need Superman? My answer is a resounding ‘no’.