...who commits the terminal mistake of wanting to skinny dip in the surf of a deserted beach. Just as Bill, Percy, and Dezzirae beg her not to, the Creature pops into frame to maul her to death. Beula obviously has not read my non-survival tipsfor horror movie victims. Way to go, Beula!

More mayhem ensues as the Creature follows our panic-stricken trio to the parking lot, then to the — I bet you didn't see this one coming — mad scientists lair. Calling for help, and ringing the bell, too, Bill, Percy, and Dezzirae are invited inside, only to become prisoners. FM is sent forth to kick the Creature's bum, but instead gets his kicked with a dose of venom. Luckily, mad Dr. Lazaroff (G. Larry Butler) has anti-venom lying around.

"Is that Ed Wood?" asked Zombos, as a ghost torments Dr. Lazaroff. "Can't be, he's not wearing an Angora sweater," I said. "Roger Corman, then?" "Not dead yet," I answered. "Oh, right. It must be old Victor Frankenstein himself, then," concluded Zombos, and indeed it was.

"By the way, the cinematography by Matthias Schubert is quite good, don't you think?" I asked. "The action scenes between FM and the Creature lack bite, though. Seems more like they are having a hissy fit." Zombos agreed. "The pacing is a little less kinetic than I would like. The camera angles are pretty well done, though. The director uses the black and white medium very well."

Just when Selena Silver was going into her pole dance routine in the seedy bar, all hell broke loose — not in the film though. You will just have to pick up a copy to see how it ends.

"Is that Ron Jeremy?" asked Zimba, standing at the door. I doubt her lower lip could drop any further. Zombos looked at me. "Oh, right," I said, and quickly turned off the DVD player. So much for my sentry abilities. "Wait a minute," said Zombos, "how did you know that was Ron Jeremy?"

I sensed a battle brewing, one even more horrific than the fight between FM and the Creature. I was slowly edging out of the room when Chef Machiavelli came running up the stairs yelling in Italian.

"What's he yelling about now?" I asked. "Something about a big hole he found in the pantry wall," replied Zombos. "Lord, not another one!" Both Zombos and I hurried downstairs, with Zimba fuming behind us.

And where is that exterminator?