I need to write more.

I need to shoot more....photographs, that is.

On Sunday, our pastor preached a sermon about not letting our insecurities weigh us down or hold us back from receiving our blessings and fulfilling our destinies. Allowing feelings of self-doubt, feelings of not being good enough, feelings like we don't deserve success, or that success is not ours to achieve often burdens so many people of faith. But this is a lesson we all can use, Christian or not.

I often find myself plagued by these very same insecurities. More than I should, I hear the little voices in my head saying that I'm not good enough, not smart enough, or not talented enough; that no one wants to hear what I have to say or that no one would understand my particular brand of art, so why bother? Too often, I have listened to those voices.

How many times have I allowed these insecurities to hinder me from achieving success? I dare not count. I can't even begin to imagine how many opportunities I have missed due to the fact that I let these feelings of self-doubt cloud my vision. It saddens me to think of where I could be right now if I only I had the courage and confidence to go forth and pursue my destiny with full vigor.

All I know now is that there is something inside of me that needs to come out. It's been there all along, for all of my life, rumbling quietly for far too long, slowly building and gaining momentum. Certain events throughout my life have quieted this sleeping giant, but like the magma that builds pressure beneath the earth, building to a great volcanic eruption, so is this rumble from within me ready to overflow.

It's an urge to create, to start from nothing and end with something, something that is my own, my voice, my vision, for all to see, feel, read, interpret. You may not like it, you may never understand it, but you will know that it is me. I need to write, I need to photograph everything I see; when I can't do that, I need to sketch this or that and then maybe later turn it into a painting. I don't even care that I may be less talented than my peers. Mine is a voice that needs to be heard.