Disclaimer: The following article contains many, many jokes about Ben Roethlisberger getting a motorcycle accident. I am a fan of his. I want him to get better. But this story is absolutely hilarious, so either lighten up or read some of our other fine articles.

Pittsburgh Steelers' star quarterback Ben Roethlisberger adds another notch to his "I'm a lucky bastard" belt.

First he gets a scholarship to a rising college football program (Miami University) after one year of playing quarterback in high school.

Then his stock in the 2004 draft takes the perfect nosedive so that the Steelers draft him as their future QB.

And speaking of nosedives, we've all heard about Big Ben getting his bell rung on a Pittsburgh avenue while riding a motorcycle. While he's used to five 300-pound lugs staving off equally large men, absolutely nothing protected his 240-pound frame from the force of the oncoming Chrysler New Yorker except for a luscious head of hair.

When news broke of his accident, people feared the worst, in order of importance:

• Will he miss part of the season?
• Will he miss the entire season?
• Will he ever play football again?
• Will he be able to walk again?
• Will he die?
• Gasp — will Charlie Batch once again be a starting quarterback?

But he will live. And talk. He'll still play football. This season. Maybe most of it, even. The Steelers have all but said he'll be ready to play by Week 1. And police checked into it — Batch wasn't the one driving the car.

After his seven-hour surgery in a nearby hospital, doctors announced a hefty list of injuries, none of them life-threatening:

• Fractured jaw
• Broken nose
• Missing/chipped teeth
• Nine-inch laceration to back of head
• Mild concussion
• Damage to both knees

They made no mention, understandably so, of the most painful injury: the humiliation of being a Super Bowl winning quarterback who got into a motorcycle accident without wearing a helmet. His upcoming commercial for Campbell's Chunky Soup is also getting mmm, mmm, re-cast.

Tuesday afternoon I had already begun devising jokes to commemorate the incident without any discretion of his condition (serious but stable, at the time). I held them for publication, waiting to see how he'd recover. In the meantime, I tested the jokes on my friends. ("For the last time, Suss, you're not funny!")

Three days removed after impact, perhaps it's still to soon to joke about Ben Helmetlisberger's crash. In fact, we may never know when the proper time to crack jokes is, or if that point in time will ever come.

But he's recovering quite well and will probably be released from the hospital this week. So this may be the best time to point out that for once Seahawks fans aren't complaining that he was down by contact.

As for laws requiring bike riders to wear a helmet, Pennsylvania has no such ordinance. But perhaps legislators clad in black and gold underwear will introduce a bill requiring all chopper motorists to wear either a helmet or a Troy Polamalu wig.