So after all the nonsense, Roger Clemens is staying home to pitch. Despite what we were being fed by the Clemens’ camp and sympathetic media types, the auction for Clemens services never really materialized. Why?

Well some have posited that last August, Clemens had tested positive for steroids and was given a secretive 50 game suspension during the off-season. The conspiracy theorists claimed that Clemens would return this week against the Cardinals after 50 games had been played. The way this deal works out, Clemens won’t see the majors for another 3 weeks, but I’m sure the extra 15 games or so won’t dissuade these people from their point.

This is a delicious theory. A Watergate-type scandal such as this would surely bring down the established baseball hierarchy and be the biggest dishonor in the history of sports. Given the way that Selig and Company have fouled up so many things, nothing would surprise me.

But there’s no way that we’ll ever find out that this ever happened.

Those who hold this view will really be crowing if Clemens comes back and all of a sudden looks like a 43-year old pitcher. If the Rocket fizzles there will be no end to the speculation about why he really held out. This is the price that all athletes will have to pay from now on, since fans are overly suspicious of grand achievements in this post-Balco era.

And this is kind of a crazy scenario anyway, isn’t it? But you still have to wonder why there weren’t any other offers made for Clemens.

Why didn’t Clemens’ representatives express Roger’s interest in returning to the Bronx? According to Yank GM Brian Cashman, he told Clemens’ agent that if Roger ever wanted to pitch someplace else that the Bombers would be interested.

If this whole holdout was an auction why weren’t the Yanks given a heads up? Hmm?

And what about the Red Sox and the Rangers? Not a peep from either of them, a peep I say.

Clemens is to sign a one year, pro-rated, $22 million contract, which means that he’ll make $12 million this year if he pitches in the majors by the end of June. But he made $18 million last year. Why would he go through all of this to make no better than the same money?

Members of the media told us all along that this was about money. Well, either Clemens and his people overestimated their worth or something else is going on here. What could that something else be?