Memorial Day - We Should Remember Every Day
Published May 30, 2006
We remember. Every day of the year, we should remember those who have served in our armed forces. Not just those who have died in battle, but all who have served and their families, too, for their sacrifices. But Memorial Day is special.
Memorial Day isn't just a one-day event for my family. It's a full weekend, and so much more.
Each year, my son and I join scouts from across San Diego County to honor our military and their families buried at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery. Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts alike gather early in the morning to hear an invocation, sing the National Anthem, and listen to a brief speech honoring those who have served in our military. It's always moving and my son and I consider it a great privilege to participate in the day's events.
Ft. Rosecrans is situated on a large, hilly peninsula. A road runs down the middle, with graves on both sides — the west side faces the Pacific Ocean and the east side overlooks San Diego Harbor. Ft. Rosecrans is the final resting place for almost 90,000 men, women, and children, and covers 77.5 acres. It's breathtakingly beautiful from any angle. Up close, amongst the headstones, it's a touching sight.
On the Saturday preceding Memorial Day, the scouts and their families join in the dressing of the graves. My son and I stand alongside them. Once the speeches have been made, we gather armfuls of flags from trucks and walk down the rows of headstones, placing the flags with care. For my son and I, this is an opportunity to examine the names and other information about the people buried there.
While Memorial Day has traditionally been a celebration of those fallen in battle, the simple fact is, we don't discriminate as we place the flags. As I said earlier, anyone who served, and their families, receives a flag and, in our case, a prayer and a thank you. It's always been my belief that we cannot honor some and forget the rest. To have served in the military deserves respect. Whether one died during conflict or not, they served and they gave of themselves in the name of Freedom. Their families served at home, waiting for their return, praying for their safety, and hoping for victory. To discount any service is to dishonor the sacrifices all have made.
We're not unique in our reading of the names of those buried as we make our way through Ft. Rosecrans. Many others do this, too. Some have family or friends buried here. However, we make a point to explore new areas each time we go to the cemetery.
In the past, we have paid our respects to some who have served and died in Iraq. One of them, Sgt. Rafael Peralta, was a man whose story we'd heard. A friend of ours (who has attended the dressing of the graves with us for the last two years) said, "I don't remember that one." I told him I knew he'd written of the sergeant. And, yes, he had.
- Memorial Day - We Should Remember Every Day
- Published: May 30, 2006
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: History, Culture: Holidays and Traditions, Culture: Personal History, Culture: Society
- Writer: Joan Hunt
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Thanks, E.
I'm really lucky to have a child so willing to listen and discuss things. Anything. Everything. I don't know that we'll always have these opportunities so I make the most of the time we have.
Whether talking about the military or talking about sex or family or school...you have to be willing to listen as much as talk. And you have to be prepared to give answers in a way that allows a child to form his or her own opinions. I try very hard to do this. Sometimes, it's really difficult though, because my son was born a red, white, and blue-bleeding Republican. Sure, he can from the womb of a Democrat (at the time), but he has his own view of the world.
I count on his ability to see the personal side of things as well as the larger picture to help him reason out the world around him.
I only hope he continues to do this.
I never understood the purpose of Memorial Day until living through a couple of Remebrance Days here. That is because for most of the time I lived in America, we were not "at war." As a teenager in the '60's Memorial Day was controversial - trying to find a day to honor the poor kids who died in 'Nam while expressing opposition to America's presence there. But as 'Nam wound down and as a volunteer military took over the draft, I sensed a greater distance from those who served and had died. Unlike many who are my age, who opposed that war, I never called a soldier for the country I lived in a "pig." I couldn't have looked myself in the mirror and done that.
Now, that I live in a country at war, and now that I have sons who may be drafted to serve in the military here, the idea of remembring those who fall takes on far greater importance...
Went to the graves of several relatives, including my beloved grandpa and uncles Neil and Donald yesterday. Specifically went late to avoid the military BS, the speeches and flags and all. I certainly mourn the loss of anyone who dies, but on Memorial Day I remember who is responsible for putting them in harm's way in the first place. Reinforces my mission in life, part of which is the abolishment of war and violence and the need to send men and women off to klll and die. I know... it's an impossible task, but someone's got to try.
I grew up in Coronado and just came back last week from moving my grandmother into a retirement home on the island. Sorting through decades of memories made me a bit nostalgic and I decided to search the internet for more information on my uncle who died in Vietnam - Ensign John Webster McCormick, Jr. And so I stumbled across your article and it will surely bring joy to my entire family to know that you and your sons take time to pay respects to all who have lost their lives, especially Johnny. His Purple Heart and Silver Star were earned by giving his life to save the rest of his unit. To this day my grandmother still gets letters from the men he saved expressing their gratitude for his bravery. I was born 4 years after my uncle died, so I never met him, but i too grew up visiting the gravesites at Rosecrans each month. My grandfather, a Navy Captain, is now buried with my uncle (his name is on the reverse side of the tombstone) and my grandmother will someday join them as well. Thank you for sharing your tradition and know that it is appreciated by the families of those who rest in Rosecrans.
Jennifer, thank you so much for your comment! I have often wondered about your uncle and I do make it a point to visit him and your grandfather (I'm assuming this was your grandfather) each time I go to Ft. Rosecrans. Please let your family know they are in my prayers and that I'm very grateful for their service to this country.
If anyone would like to email me with more stories about either of them, I'd appreciate it. My email is joanhuntREMOVETHIS[at]gmailREMOVETHIS[dot]com
I grew up in Coronado and just came back last week from moving my grandmother into a retirement home on the island. Sorting through decades of memories made me a bit nostalgic and I decided to search the internet for more information on my uncle who died in Vietnam - Ensign John Webster McCormick, Jr. And so I stumbled across your article and it will surely bring joy to my entire family to know that you and your sons take time to pay respects to all who have lost their lives, especially Johnny. His Purple Heart and Silver Star were earned by giving his life to save the rest of his unit. To this day my grandmother still gets letters from the men he saved expressing their gratitude for his bravery. I was born 4 years after my uncle died, so I never met him, but i too grew up visiting the gravesites at Rosecrans each month. My grandfather, a Navy Captain, is now buried with my uncle (his name is on the reverse side of the tombstone) and my grandmother will someday join them as well. Thank you for sharing your tradition and know that it is appreciated by the families of those who rest in Rosecrans.
Great article, Joan--sorry I'm a little belated here. I don't have anything as grand and touching, but my Memorial Day is on a smaller scale and centers around my father, a soldier in WWII, proud participant and survivor of the Battle of the Bulge. He is getting deeper in the throes of Alzheimer's, and this year--having given up on getting him to read other books, even military books--I took him to a local bookstore (he likes the drives) and bought him a new copy of John Toland's "Story of the Bulge" to replace the tattered, falling-apart copy he's had for decades and keeps reading and re-reading. And why not? That's a milestone in his life that he'll never forget despite the oncoming ravages of Alzheimer's. I also noticed that, when I went to his house to pick him up, he had also remembered what day it was--he has problems with days and dates--and put out the American flag. Simple but encouraging.
Ens.John W. McCormick was my brother,and I'm so glad to know he's visited specifically by people who never knew him, but for some reason were drawn to his site. I had 6 children, all of whom would've benefitted from having known him. My son John was always proud to hear the stories of his uncle for whom he was named, and wanted to pursue a military career also. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to, and last year he was murdered at his place of employment. I think if he'd been able to follow his dreams, his death would've simply been at someone else's hand. At least he was able to donate organs to prolong the lives of four other people, and to them he's a hero too. I miss them both,but their lives as well as their deaths have made an impact on the world and I can take some comfort in that.
Maria, thank you for commenting. Your family is truly remarkable and I am sorry for your many losses. Your son is most definitely a hero for his gifts of life to others. As a former transplant nurse, I know how precious and necessary those donations are.
Dear Maria P Gates, This Memorial Day I and my family spent some time at Fort Rosecrans military cemetery. My son and I were walking through the grounds and we briefly stopped in front of a stone that my son pointed out. I looked and was stunned that I knew John W. McCormick as we were in the same USMC battalion. I was a Navy doctor and a friend of John and I specifically remember spending an hour together the night before he died sitting on the flight deck of the Okinawa( heli carrier). We talked for a long time and I found the next day the awful news of his death. Over the years I have never forgotten him and have a rubbing of his name from the Vietnam Wall that I have kept these 41 years. I would love to talk to someone from his family. For some reason in a cemetery of 90,000 graves I was drawn to his.
Very respectfully, Theodore L. Folkerth M. D.
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Thanks for sharing that tradition. It sounds nice. I think your son will thank you for these walks for the rest of his life.