[Celebrated British screenwriter Andrew Davies has agreed to script this novel into a six-episode television series for the BBC]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a born-again Texan in possession of a hijacked mandate must be in want of a war. However little known the feelings or views of other countries in the Security Council, this truth is so well fixed in the mind of the reigning superpower that the victim country is considered as the rightful target of one or other of its agendas.

"My dear Dubya," called his cowboy lover Mr. Dick Darcy to him one day as he was cutting grass in the Crawford Ranch, "have you heard that WMDs have been found at last?"

Mr. Dubya Bennet replied that he had not.

"But it is," returned Dick; "for Ms Rice has just been here, and she told me all about it."

Mr. Dubya made no answer.

"Do not you want to know who has the possession of it?" cried Dick impatiently.

"You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it."

This was invitation enough.

"Why, my dear, you must know, Ms Rice supposes that nukes have already been made by a poor country of large oil resources from the east of Baghdad; that they are getting very excited and, luckily for us, they are threatening to bomb the Wailing Wall."

"Which is this country?"

"Iran."

"Is it democratic or dictatorial?"

"Oh! democratic, my dear, partially democratic to be sure! Very unlike our Saudi chums. Very unlike our way of living. A poor country of large oil wealth; four or five million barrels a day. What a fine thing for our fund-raisers!"

"How so? How can it affect them?"

"My dear Mr. Dubya," replied his companion, "how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of a few or all of them donors taking over the oilfields."

"Is that the Iran's design in getting nukes?"

"Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that it may refuse to give up it nuclear programme, and therefore you must attack it as soon as possible."

"I see an occasion for that. But should we take others, or we go by ourselves, which perhaps will be still better; for, we are more powerful than all of them combined together, and then we can have all the oil for our friends alone."

"My dear, you astonish me. I certainly will like our pals to have all the wells but we have to pretend that we are interested in a multilateral approach. When a superpower has so many satellites, it ought to spare a bone or two for its poodles."

"In such cases, a power has not often much machismo to boast of."

"But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Blair when he arrives in Martha's Vineyard tomorrow. Or better, you must invite him to your Crawford Ranch here."