And now, the end is here, and so we face the final graphic violence warning. My friends, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case, though it may be corny. Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, way too many to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all, when there was doubt, I ate this show up and spit it out. I faced it all and I stood tall, and wrote it this way.

The recaps remind us that this show was written by dropping a ball through a Pachinko machine. Each peg was labeled with a different possible plot development, and each peg the ball hit on the way down, that plot point was tossed into the script. At least the ball never hit the "Jack has a talking dog" peg.

And so, it is time to deploy the Rantennae one last time. If I were a vampire, I'd live in Rantsylvania. My fellow reviewers and I form a Rant colony. Ok, stopping now.

A sign tells us we are at a Private Marine Overhaul Facility. Why the sam hill this sub pulled up to a civilian dock, and not a military one, who knows. Why would this civilian port have the facilities to service a sub? Why didn't this thing sail down to San Diego? I know, never mind. The writers were making things up at the last minute, it's the best they could come up with to kill the last two hours.

Jack is dead! Oh, it's some guard on the pavement. So, on a day of multiple terrorist attacks, an attack on the Russian president, terror attacks at an airport known to have involved Russian separatists, there was one person guarding this Russian sub?

Hurrah! The baddies have flushed the Sentox nerve gas from the sub! *a hand is raised in the back* Um, where did it go? Did they just vent it into the outside air, killing whoever else happened to be in the port?

Bierko says to start the countdown. C'mon. Do military subs really do "countdowns" when firing missiles? Then Bierko gives an inspirational speech to his newly formed band of baddies. He says "You can soar like an eagle, and be anything you want to be." No, wait, he says "We are close to finishing what we started today." Uh, come again? How's that? What you started today, Sgt. Bierko, was an attempt to ship a whole bunch of gas canisters back to Central Asia, and then attack Russia. Blowing up a lot of Los Angelananianiters is not quite the same thing.