Which movie is less deserving of a sequel, Cheaper By the Dozen or Hollow Man? Discuss.

Transamerica

Felicity Huffman won a Golden Globe and an Indie Spirit Award for her portrayal of a pre-op male-to-female transsexual who goes on a road trip with the son she never knew she had. The movie itself, while not being bad, never lives up to the power of her performance. Extras include commentary from writer/director Duncan Tucker and a conversation with Tucker and Huffman.

Cheaper By the Dozen 2

The sequel to the wildly successful, if painful, Cheaper By the Dozen manages to take two actors who have slummed notoriously in the past few years and let them pool their paycheck performances. Steve Martin and Eugene Levy in a comedy should be cause for great celebration, but here, in the context of The Pink Panther and The Man, it just makes me cry. Director's commentary and numerous featurettes cannot dry my tears of rage.

Hollow Man 2

Normally, I wouldn't devote this much space to a direct-to-DVD sequel of a movie that wasn't that good in the first place, but the notion of Christian Slater and Peter Facinelli (of best. show. ever. Fastlane fame) facing off as — wait for it — invisible men is too good to pass up. I mean, it's like The Crow: Wicked Prayer starring Dennis Hopper, Macy Gray and Tara Reid good. And then there's the troublingly-titled featurette, "Inside Hollow Man 2." My only disappointment is that this film is not called Hollow Men, Too.

BloodRayne (Unrated Director's Cut)

The latest reason to require directors to have licenses to make movies and then give one to Uwe Boll just so we can revoke it. After his House of the Dead and Alone In the Dark (there's Christian Slater and Tara Reid again) tanked — horribly — Hollywood said, "Let's give him even more money to direct another crappy video game adaptation." Apparently they figured the problem was that his previous films didn't have enough B- and C-list actors, so they threw in Kristanna Loken, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Madsen, Billy Zane, Udo Kier, Meat Loaf, and Michael Paré (which, coincidentally, is my dream cast for a Streets of Fire remake). They also added Ben Kingsley just to, y'know, class up the joint. And he did it because, um, he always wanted to control his own vampire army?

Extras include director's commentary which I can only hope includes the line "Why the fuck do they keep giving me money?", a "Dinner with Uwe" featurette which, I'm guessing, does not allow the viewer to harm Uwe in any way, and a DVD-ROM of the complete BloodRayne 2 video game which, sight unseen, I will guarantee is more entertaining than the film.