Charlie makes me looks sane.

For that, and the joy I get from watching Two and a Half Men, I remain grateful.

besides, he single-handedly supports a goodly portion of the Hollywood sex worker industry

Charlie makes my job so easy, so fun, so full of mirth.

Oh, Joan, you're a virtual pillar of sanity compared to these folks.

Poor Heather and those little Sheenettes.

this could only be better if ms. spears breaks it off with kfed and shacks w/sheen.

just imagine the possibilities.

that would be classic, but I'm not sure they are scummy enough for each other

You really are a good, loyal Blogcritic, 'cuz I know how very little you enjoy such stories of tawdriness.

Britney Spears is way to classy for a guy like Sheen. That's how disturbing his taste in women is.

Maybe Monica Lewinsky's available?

The above was mine comment to Mark. My bad, got Mark Saleski on the brain.

well, hey, who doesn't?!! ;-)

i really feel sorry for denise because it's not like going into her relationship with charlie she could have had any inkling that he was a whore/porn monger...just because he had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars with heide fleiss and had a long term relationship with 80's porn queen ginger lynn...who among us hasn't spent that much money on high-end hookers or dated porn stars?

how could have poor denise known?!?

I am sure she thought marriage and children would change him. Don't we all think that?

njff:
thanks for following me over here!

usually only good writers like dawn and writers who have been around for a while get their own stalker. and thanks for visiting my blog.

since we get paid based on the amount of comments that get posted to our items, i'm sure the other writers won't mind you trolling around!

and good luck finding that job!

if not marriage changing him, then you might think fatherhood would

Some years back when I was working at the Santa Monica Borders, I helped Charlie--during the time of the Heidi Fleis trial-- look for "books on Catholic confession" and he bought a few. Nicest guy in the world--but then I wasn't a young boy or girl with pigtails, a porn star, an actress with prominent eyebrows, Heather Locklear or Richie Sambora.

oh, and apparently the books on Catholic confession didn't help.

Charlie Sheen is a cow.

"I know her eyebrows piss me off."

Now, let's not get catty.

she's got some caterpillars up there

Caterpillars or no, why on earth would it be worth anybody's time and energy to get pissed off about somebody else's eyebrows? Everybody knows, nobody gets to choose their eyebrows.

Or am I missing some form of subtle literary allusion here?

There's nothing more enjoyable than listen to a girl blab on about some other girl and how horrible a person is, only to have that verbal screed end in mockery of:

1. Her natural hair color
2. Her eyebrows
3. Her shoes

Um, Victor, I hate to correct you, but a real woman has full and total control over her eyebrows. It's called a tweezer, and more people should look into its purpose and use.

Many words could describe the end result of manipulating eyebrows with tweezers. "Real" is an ironic word selection for that purpose.

Next I expect to hear somebody's pissed off at Denise Richards for not wearing a corset.

Good heaven's man, have you no sense of humor?

Lighten up already, it's freaking facial hair we are talking about, not nuclear war.

Yeeagh! My moral outrage will not be denied!

I'm pissed off because she won't wear a farthingale.

You'd think after all this Charlie would join my team. Heterosexuality is getting so dangerous these days.

you can't casually drop a term like that and walk away there, gordo!
Farthingale

So, you're into hoop skirts, eh, Gordo? Ever see Ms. Richards-Sheen in Wild Things? She was hot back then. Now, she's just another Hollywood ho.

sal--its a 16th Century hoop skirt. Quite the rage--I hear, 'cause I'm, like, not really that old...

Silas: Farthingale Hoop skirts? Oh yeah: va-va-va-voom, hubba-hubba, indeed.

re the eyebrows thing: it's obviously a conscious choice since she's been in movies and whatnot and has almost certainly come across the concept of plucking the fuckers. So obvious grooming/fashion decisions are 100% open to vicious ridicule.

What the hell is up with people arguing for respectful treatment of these people? It's what they EXIST for.

Exactly Eric! These people have handlers and personal coaches who spend their entire day telling these knuckleheads how wonderful and special they are.

Guess what? They are neither more wonderful or special than anyone else - therefore I am doing the whole world a favor by pointing this out.

The way society puts these solipsistic, narcissistic buttplugs on a pedestal is both disgusting and shameful.

Yes, you may thank me now - I do it for your own good.

I had the thrill of spending time hiding beneath a farthingale once. Good times.

"There's nothing more enjoyable than listen to a girl blab on about some other girl and how horrible a person is, only to have that verbal screed end in mockery of:

1. Her natural hair color
2. Her eyebrows
3. Her shoes"

I'd prefer to sleep with Charlie Sheen than speak with this type of human, whatever their gender. Who cares about eyebrows (the self-infliction of pain for vanity's sake) and shoes (implements of podiatric torture)? Character counts; the rest is just plain dumb.

Charlie Sheen makes me queasy (can't even watch his show), though I will give him due credit for his clever quip about Richards and Sambora: "They give love a bad name."

I imagine Richie's rebuttal: "Have a nice day... in your glass house."

So yeah, sleazy Sheen is on my shit list, and while I feel badly for Denise and the kids (if what she alleges is true, and it very well could be), friends don't snag their friends' exes. That's just tacky. Of course, their marital swapping is none of our business.

But hey, I'd rather waste time on the trashy trollings of Chloe Jones' pal-Richards-Locklear-Sambora-Spade than on the return of Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco that seems to be all over the place. Did one of those yahoos write a book? Why do they think the public cares about a 15-year-old Long Island assault and statutory-rape case between a teen vixen with an anger-management problem and a career criminal and his ex-spouse? Oh wait, the mainstream would love something like that, wouldn't it? Blech.

Right now, the only celebs who interest me are George Clooney (for helping bring attention to the crisis in Darfuf), Sally Field (for helping educate people on the issue of osteoporosis), Nick Lachey (my heart breaks for him; yes, I'm a softy and a sucker) and Hugh Jackman (X-3 hits US screens 5-26-06 - wow, being interested in a performer for performing... imagine that).

narcissistic buttplugs...good band name.

Last night I saw the new promo for the X-Men: The Final Stand and that hot hero Wolverine about scorched my undies. I thought of you and your undying love for Hugh Jackman, Natalie.

He is my kind of hero - an imagine that - no celebrity pretenses on that guy. He and Viggo *sigh*.

As for Nick, well, it's sad, but when you go for the blonde bombshell, be prepared for heartache.

especially when it comes to chicken and tuna

"What the hell is up with people arguing for respectful treatment of these people? It's what they EXIST for."

Wow. You can't be serious, Eric.

Actually, they exist for whatever purpose fate or their Creator chooses for them, not to be ridiculed by people.

Fuck. I didn't and don't want to do this, but being an ugly and unacceptable misfit human, I have to speak to this.

From the most powerful world leader to the humblest, least conventionally attractive proletariat, to the vilest terrorist, every human deserves fair, respectful treatment. Sure, humor and fun are OK, but that statement brings back some horrid memories for me. It sounds like the rationale bullies used in my school to beat me to a pulp every goddamned day.

Their primary gripes, the ones that got me bashed at least once daily through my junior year, comprised a long list of crimes that made me worthy of their disrespect, contempt and violence: I was an individual who received excellent grades; engaged in political and philosophical discussions with faculty members on a regular basis; passed on reciting your country's pledge; avoided drugs, sex and alcohol; and refused to align or conform with any ruling clique. But much was based on superficial stuff too: They hated my hair, my clothes, my shoes, my refusal to follow fashion trends, and - well, here's the condensed version of the story:

I'm recalling one particular late afternoon in spring 1977 at Franklin High School in Reisterstown, MD: On this occasion, a band of 12 goons attacked me in a hallway after school and threw me to the floor. They repeatedly kicked me in the stomach and head and doused me with canfuls of Coke (after one of the bullies threatened that he would rape me if I cried out). This day, my apparent crime was wearing a satin purple gown that was a school-play costume; they didn't approve of me being in the drama club. And one thing they shouted at me was that they felt my eyebrows needed plucking. My job was to comport myself according to their wishes or to pay the price. That's why I existed, in their eyes.

"That's what they exist for."

I respectfully disagree. No one exists for the purpose of being hurt - physically or otherwise - and experts on the subject of violence and abuse tell me that nonphysical violence can often be worse. From personal experience, I know this to be true.

Celebrities are humans too and they feel pain. I have spoken to performers who admit that comments about superficial shit DO hurt them (which explains why many of them go to such lengths on the fashion/conformity front). Now, many will not sympathize - after all, celebs are rich and famous and they get tons of free stuff. Let the money and perqs soothe their anguish, many would say. But IMO that's an unacceptable and inhumane attitude.

Assaulting people for any reason - including to show displseasure with something so meaningless as appearance - is unforgivable. So is teasing people about superficial issues; it's immature behavior that reveals more about the teaser than about the victim. And few mainstreamers seem to stop and think about the possible ramifications of their hideous cruelty (and yes, it's cruel, even if you're having a good time). I'm guilty of ribbing celebs here and there too (and hate myself for it), but I tend to gibe people about things they DO and SAY. There is a difference.

No one is excusing picking on people for things about themselves they can't change. We are talking about behaviors and attitudes that can influence otherwise impressionable people. Celebrities put themselves on the world stage by choice, the inherent risks are known to them.

How is picking on Charlie Sheen or Denise Richards, far more powerful and influential people than myself, any more cruel than picking on President Bush, someone whom you heap vicious ridicule on Natalie?

And as for being picked on in school - I have to point this out - LOTS OF PEOPLE can point to ridicule in junior high or at various times in their life. I had my own song about being flat and fat, sure it hurt, but I chose to listen to the words of my family and friends, not a bunch of jerks.

I am sure the same can be said about celebrities. Do you really think Denise Richards is reading Blogcritics and is upset because I disagree with her choice in eyebrow maintenance? She could give a fat fig what some nobody says about her. Such is the joys of being beautiful, rich, famous and wealthy.

Really, life's too short to get worked up over immature silly satire. I am hardly laying awake at night wishing these people ill-will. I am merely hoping to entertain a handful of people and drive some traffic to my husband's culmination of a lifetime's expenditure in the media and entertainment industry.

Please don't rain on my parade, for crying aloud.

"How is picking on Charlie Sheen or Denise Richards, far more powerful and influential people than myself, any more cruel than picking on President Bush, someone whom you heap vicious ridicule on Natalie?"

Bush's actions affect millions of people's LIVES. Thousands are dead BECAUSE OF HIM. Millions are unequal under law in large part because of HIS ANTI-EQUALITY EFFORTS. The supposed values of YOUR country are violated on a daily basis BY HIM AND HIS AGENTS AND DUPES; millions suffer as a result. I could go on, but the point is clear.

I don't say what I say about Bush to insult him, per se - I don't rag on his weight or his eyebrows. My aim is to oust him and all the pols like him to make your country and the world tolerable for a change, to help it become a better, cleaner, fairer place for all global citizens. Period. I say what I say about the person who is not my leader - including calling him a terrorist - because I believe that in objective fact, "terrorist" is an accurate, honest way to define him and what he does for a living. Not insult. Not humor. Truth. Not calling him that would be a lie by omission.

Dawn, you certainly have the right to say whatever you want. I have the right to disagree and say so in this public space, where we can't control or put a halt to replies we don't like. Beyond that, it doesn't impact you or your parade.

Now, give me a hug.

And whoever that is in #39, you are in my prayers. Obviously, you don't know Dawn Olsen and don't know what the fuck you are saying, but you obviously need help from someone way more powerful than anyone here.

the former #39 is gone Nat, thanks.

I don't disagree with you in the real world, of course, Nat, but I would say that "celebrity gossip" is not about the people but about their role in the culture. Of course there is overlap there, but if the focus is the discrepancy between image and actual behavior, etc, then that is fair game.

This is a smear campaign designed solely to detract attention and discredit his statements regarding the farse that was the 9-11 attacks. Wake up people.

"I would say that 'celebrity gossip' is not about the people but about their role in the culture."

Perhaps. But I know celebs who experience personal pain when they hear or read gossip and insults about their looks. I have seen a couple of people literally cry over it. Yeah, they chose their lives, but does that mean that an artist or singer or actor who beats the odds to win a little success gives up their humanity? Yeah, they're rich and well-known, but those things aren't necessarily tickets to happiness. So. Do people who become famous and celebrated become dehumanized red meat to be gobbled up by cruel masses whenever and wherever? Indeed, that is the case.

If that's OK with the mainstream - and arguably, that is so - it doesn't mean it's OK with everyone. And don't get me started on the vile culture... this societally applauded dehumanization is merely one symptom of a seriously, perhaps terminally diseased culture.

"Personal attacks are not allowed. Please read our comment policy."

This article contravenes your own policy. Isn't it wonderful all the personal attacks on Charlie Sheen, just because he came out and asked pertinent questions about 9/11?

Leave his personal life alone and follow the REAL story

oh good, the 9/11 theorists are here - now the REAL truth can come out

Whoa. Did I miss something. Personal attacks and I missed it. Damn.

Yes, Natalie there is a big difference between Sheen and Bush.

Although I think they should exchange last names - it only seems fitting.

Consider yourself hugged. I have nothing but love for you my good-natured friend :)

Doesn't the comment policy (which doesn't govern editorial copy) pertain to private citizens?

Re: #43 - Have we entered the Twilight Zone? Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo...

"oh good, the 9/11 theorists are here - now the REAL truth can come out"

Yeah, I've heard they've got caterpillars for eyebrows...

Well having seen the comment in question, I would conclude that it was either Charlie Sheen himself, someone channeling Charlie Sheen, or some exceptionally well executed irony.

It goes to show you Natalie, that you are right. Clearly real world people can be very affected by the statements of others, that, and some people are wacky!

MCH, the eyebrows: that's how they recognize each other.

Ditto for me, Dawn. And yeah, Charlie and Georgie should swap surnames.

I just looked up the 9/11 bit. Might be him. Denise Richards has said publicly that her soon-to-be-ex has been obssessed with conspiracy theories since the attacks occurred. It's possible to be informed and/or smart, concerned with global affairs or nutty as a loon and to be a perv (if he really is a perv). But as far as smarts go, I give top honors to Martin, who cautions everyone involved to keep as the first priority the well-being and best interests of the Sheen girls (and I imagine he would include Ava Sambora too). Perhaps Martin Sheen really should be president. Nah, he's an actor. See how well it worked for Reagan and the Governator?

I have tons more respect for Martin. I also have a little skepticism for the motives behind all this - can he really be that bad or is she just going for the whole sympathy thing?

If it weren't for his prior transgressions in this area, I would be a little hard pressed to buy this so easily.

Somewhere in the middle lies the truth.

I believe you're right about that. Charlie's no angel, but suddenly an abuser and more? Possible, given his history, but there is no way to know for sure. It is interesting that it all blew up at one time. Anyone who is interested could go over each individual story and see where there are overlaps.

Most of the comments posted here about Charlie Sheen focus on IMPORTANT topics, such as tweezing vs. not tweezing eyebrows and the sex lives of various celebrities. Some people, however, have tried to move the focus to that depressing subject of the UNANSWERED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE 9/11 ATTACK. Why don't these people lighten up and accept our government's published explanation in "The 9/11 Commission Report"? OK, the Pentagon WAS hit, but why should Americans expect the U.S. military to have known before 9/11/01 that the Pentagon needed to be defended? Get over it already! Something else these doom-and-gloom folks need to get over: the 47-story WORLD TRADE CENTER BUILDING 7 that collapsed in about 7 seconds around 5:30 pm on 9/11/01 -- falling neatly into its footprint -- although it was not hit by a plane. What's so surprising about a 47-story steel-frame building collapsing in 7 seconds? These questions about the 9/11 attack are a drag! It's unpleasant enough to see too much facial hair on a woman -- and ABSOLUTELY TOO AWFUL to watch a film clip of the collapse of WTC Building 7. "The 9/11 Commission Report" was considerate enough NOT to include any mention of the collapse of WTC Building 7. How can anyone call that omission anything but kind and thoughtful? Have a nice day! Stay happy!

Second-best comment I read all day, Ms. Kent. (The first being Dawn's hug.) Thanks. You just made my afternoon.

Wow. When I try to joke around, I really need to work on my delivery.

Now look what I've gone and made everybody do!

For the record: I wasn't arguing for respectful treatment of celebrities, and certainly not just because they happen to be famous. Nothing I've said in this thread was said with anything more than mock-seriousness. If it's seemed otherwise that's only because I failed to overcome the difficulty of pulling off deadpan humor with only text. I'm well aware eyebrows aren't a life or death issue.

That being said, I do happen to like some variety in many aspects of life, including eyebrows. Some women look great with their eyebrows plucked and tweezed into shapes never found in nature, and I'm not going to insult them for choosing to do that to themselves. (Just as I don't insult those few women who still choose to wear corsets for whatever reason.) But I would find it utterly boring to live in a world where that was considered an absolute requirement for a woman to be seen as beautiful. Some of the most devastatingly attractive women I've had the good fortune to meet have been women with bold eyebrows.

To boil all this down to a nutshell: with eyebrows, as with so many other things, vive la différence!

Eyebrows, like many things about beauty, are unique to the individual. I am not suggesting she or anyone else conform to some ideal of eyebrow beauty, but she really has a whole big furry thing going on above her lids. I think she could be a whole lot more beautiful if a.) they were thinner and more groomed and b.) they were a color that match her natural skin tone and hair color.

Essentially, it's an aesthetic judgment on my part based solely on my opinion of what looks good on a woman's face. I am no authority.

(ps - I figured you were only half serious Victor - just going along for the ride.)

Charlie Sheen? Horrible shoes.

Matthew, are you mocking me?

I. Can't. Take. Another. Minute.

Pluck hair out of your skin. Scrape your legs and underarms and anywhere The Powers that Be mandate using a sharp metal blade. Paint your face with chemicals. And don't eat.

I am actually feeling nauseated.

To Americans in general: You are terrific, but I hate your culture. It is repulsive. I don't agree with your definitions of beauty. The societal superficiality disgusts me without end. And your mandated gender roles - so dehumanizing, so limiting, so unjust, so... WRONG - are beyond the pale.

Whew. That's been brewing all day lon; had to get that out. Now I seriously must go and throw up. Can't take any more of this.

You mean... you didn't know?

This was a known fact years ago when dear Charlie had an infatuation with Ginger Lynn... porn starlette renown. Come on... you really didn't know?

Gimme a break. This was older news than Clinton receiving a Lewinski in the Oval oriface.

Charlie has a track record

Hey now, some of us have naturally full eyebrows and are proud of it. UNIBROWS UNITE!!!

very Iron Curtain

Charlie Sheen publicly speaks the truth about 9/11 and the government's lies about the events of 9/11 and then a week later he's being excoriated in the mass media concerning his personal life?

When did the USA officially transform in the Union of Socialist States of America (USSA)??

And that devil Cheney has nerve to talk about the "evil" media in Russia?

What a Bizzaro World we do live in.

all the 9/11-conspiracy angle did was cast further doubt on his judgment

RE: the previous comment "all the 9/11-conspiracy angle did was cast further doubt on his judgment" --- Oh, yes, Charlie Sheen showed highly questionable "judgment" when he made a public announcement advising Americans to do their own research about what happened on 9/11/01. What planet is he from? The only sensible judgment for Americans to make in 2006 is, of course, to continue to accept the conspiracy theory that's in "The 9/11 Commission Report" done by our government. Case closed. JUDGMENT SMUDGMENT! It's party time! What's so surprising about our government's theory that 19 Arab terrorists conspired and managed to outsmart the U.S. military, FBI and CIA to hit the Pentagon and turn all the cement in the World Trade Center Twin Towers into a fine powder? SO WHAT IF THE OFFICIAL EXPLANATION DOESN'T MENTION THE COLLAPSE OF WORLD TRADE CENTER BUILDING 7. Hmmm, Charlie Sheen specified that people should learn more about WTC Building 7. Borrrring! Good grief! Get with the program, Charlie. Do our own research? Yuk! Research is for nerds -- unattractive nerds with chipped fingernail polish -- or even worse -- gasp! -- no fingernail polish at all! (None of those dogs are reading THIS!) Everybody knows the Bush administration would never give false information to the American people! It's party time! Everyone into the pool! Stay happy! Arf!

I'll take the pool over the metallic hat

That's why you'll never be safe from the mind control satellites.

Wake Up People!! Meanwhile back on the Mothership...

that's the price we heedless types pay

i think charlie sheen is the perfect spokesman for the alternative theories - and for those who harbor these other theories - about what happened on 9/11. with mr sheen's history of responsible behavior, what group WOUNLDN'T embrace him in order to put a responsible face on their movement.

also, he must be a very persuasive young man to be able to convince the beautiful and vivacious ms richards that he could be a good husband and father.

since he's spent more money on getting laid than any man in modern history despite being an extremely successful actor, he must not have had a very good rap. all of the time he spent with hookers might have allowed him to perfect his "line."

like arthur bach said, "You're a hooker?!? I just thought I was doing great with you!"

but we can't let Charlie's issues avert our attention from WTC 7 - Save Ferris!

Can we expect anything less from Charlie? Look at what his Daddy has done in the West Wing for the last eight years! Those damn liberals! They're raising freaks, I tell you! You'd never see an offspring from a good Christian, Conservative upbringing being so openly misogynistic, critical of the government and sexually overactive. They' just book a plane to Thailand and do it in the Himalayas for pennies on the quarter.

Reading this I feel a sudden need to go pluck my eyebrows.

It sounds like his thing is prescription drugs - they're "so" Hollywood these days.

why can't these people take it elsewhere and go on sex junkets like the Japanese?

So what was his 9/11 theory?

I didn't do it.

Who put their name as Charlie Sheen? That must be the best comment for him. I'm laughing so hard from that comment. stupid f**k.

Charlie is the best actor.
I still remain faithful to Charlie. Richards just wants public attention. like she hasn't got enough already.

Charlie rules.
Go Charlie!

Charlie i just wan t to thank you for the movie Two and a half men...