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The Healthy Skeptic: Reported Decrease In Penis Size Could Be A Boon To The Organic Food Movement

Written by Sal Marinello
Published May 01, 2006

Organic food annoys me.

Despite what the organics will have you believe, research just doesn't indicate that there are any real health benefits that come from eating organically produced foods. This doesn't mean that there aren't any studies that have turned up positives for organic food, because studies have been done that show organic foods have some benefits. The problem is that for every one of these "pro-organic" studies there are other studies that show organic foods offer no real benefits.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a lack of scientific consensus.

But now thanks to data uncovered by Louis Guillette, an assistant dean of research at the University of Florida, the organic movement has a chance to pick up a head of steam. Hopefully - for their sake - they won't blow this chance to expand and extend their influence.

The thrust of Dean Guillette's findings is that the use of pesticides has led to changes in fertility and sex including - gasp - penis size. And by change in penis size, we're talking smaller.

Guillette made his opinions known while speaking at a conference at the University of Western Ontario during question and answer periods and during interviews. Guillette said that the use of pesticides for cosmetic purposes of keeping lawns looking nice is not warranted since he feels that there is enough evidence to put children - of course, the children! - wildlife, and the ecosystem at risk.

Oddly, Dean G makes no mention of the risk to men. After dropping the whole smaller penis bombshell, how could he forget to mention men? After all, kids have small penises to begin with, so smallness is a relative term. But to a man, a decrease in penis size is as big of a risk as there exists on the face of the earth. Forget death, disease and taxes.

Small penis is the Pol Pot of men problems.

Organic food may annoy, but the threat of a small penis terrifies.

In defense of Guillette, he limited his comments to saying that pesticides shouldn't be used for cosmetic purposes - for lawn care - and did say that pesticides are necessary for health and agricultural purposes, and therefore shouldn't be banned.

However, just because Guillette uses his research findings in a responsible manner doesn't mean that others have to.

I can just see how this info could be wielded to further the goals of the organic movement. Despite Guillette limiting his research to the study of alligators that live in contaminated lakes and ponds - these poor alligators had smaller genitals than their clean water counterparts - there's no reason activists can't exploit this data and extrapolate accordingly. And to exponentially increase the impact of this information, the organics can say that non-pesticide stuff can make your penis bigger.

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Sal Marinello is a National Strength and Conditioning Association Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist and Certified Personal Trainer, a U.S.A. Weightlifting Certified Coach, a full-time, private Professional Strength and Conditioning Coach, an assistant football coach and a Head Strength Coach for a suburban New Jersey High School. He writes a lot and has no free time.
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The Healthy Skeptic: Reported Decrease In Penis Size Could Be A Boon To The Organic Food Movement
Published: May 01, 2006
Type: News
Section: Sci/Tech
Filed Under: Sci/Tech: Health/Fitness, Culture: Humor and Satire, Tastes: Food and Drink, Sci/Tech: Life Sciences
Part of a feature: The Healthy Skeptic
Writer: Sal Marinello
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Comments

#1 — May 1, 2006 @ 18:52PM — Purple Tigress [URL]

And yet the fear of erectile dysfunction hasn't stopped men from drinking and smoking.



#2 — May 1, 2006 @ 18:56PM — zingzing

smoking causes erectile dysfunction? i did not know that. (and drinking, when kept to a smart level, just makes it so you can last longer in the... uh... sack. 2 or 3 beers, you no cum fast! she get chance! let women have their chance!)

#3 — May 1, 2006 @ 19:08PM — sal m

c'mon zing, smoking causes everything to disfunction...where have ya been?

#4 — May 2, 2006 @ 03:54AM — Victor Plenty [URL]

People who think "pesticides are necessary" don't understand what makes agriculture possible. The movement away from industrial agriculture is not merely about making food that tastes better (although organic foods frequently do) nor only about making food that causes fewer health risks (although organic foods are often less likely to cause illness).

At its core, the organic agriculture movement aims to lower the overall cost of food. Chemical fertilizers and pesticides are growing more and more expensive, and as time passes they are needed in greater and greater amounts, because they simply don't work over the long term. They are at best a short term fix, like chemotherapy for a cancer patient. Nobody can live a long healthy life on constant chemo. In the same way, agriculture cannot continue on a toxic chemical regimen indefinitely.

The worst damage caused by overuse of pesticides and fertilizers is not in the slight rise of cancer rates, devastating as that is for those who suffer its effects. The great danger of our misplaced faith in "better living through chemistry" is how it has damaged the land's ability to support agricultural crops. There comes a time when abused soils become too damaged to grow food anymore, no matter how many tons of fertilizer we might dump on them.

If we allow that to happen on much more of our agricultural land, biotechnology will not be able to keep the price of food down. Organic agriculture just might.

#5 — May 2, 2006 @ 06:26AM — Ruvy in Jerusalem [URL]

If, G-d forbid, I'm ever in the uh "market" again, I guess I'll have to show up at the organic foods shops for my super-expensive veggies and fruit. Size matters, as Sal has pointed out, although it is often the size of the bank account that is important too.

When I have more money, and can afford the super expensive veggies, I think I'll mention this study to my teenage sons - Then they'll probably agree to the healthy diet I've been trying to push for the last two years...

#6 — May 2, 2006 @ 08:28AM — sal m

organic food is alleged to taste better...but this is subjective and ancecdotal at that...my anecdotal is that there's no taste difference.

the analysis that the organic agriculture movement's aim is to lower the costs of food and that chemical fertilizers ruin the soil and all of that, just isn't supported by the facts.

#7 — May 2, 2006 @ 11:05AM — Duane

A penetrating look at the politics behind the food industry. The Food Police are trying to ram their propaganda down our throats. It just makes me stiffen my resistance, though, so their approach is impotent.

#8 — May 2, 2006 @ 11:41AM — sal m

their approach is both impotent and flaccid....

#9 — May 2, 2006 @ 13:29PM — zingzing

i like smoking. i like the size of my pecker. i like screwing. i am screwed. organic food is expensive. and funny smelling. makes me poop (um, differently?)

#10 — May 2, 2006 @ 13:37PM — sal m

Zing has given the anti-organic movement - and i mean movement - it's motto:
"organic food is expensive. and funny smelling. makes me poop (um, differently?)"

#11 — May 2, 2006 @ 13:42PM — zingzing

i didn't give that shit away, i sold it!

#12 — May 2, 2006 @ 18:00PM — Victor Plenty [URL]

When the only "facts" you accept as valid are those carefully selected for your consumption by the very same chemical industry that has been selling some toxins as pesticides and other toxins as fertilizers for decades now, then of course you won't believe the truth about their devastating effect on agricultural soils. Mounting scientific evidence points to declining fertility across broad tracts of formerly productive fields.

The reality on the ground is clearly visible. Overuse of chemicals already leads to crop losses on many farms. Farmers can and do get better yields, have less need for irrigation water, have fewer problems with crop diseases, and reduce their overall production costs by reducing or eliminating these toxic chemicals which are supposedly "necessary" for agriculture.

The time is coming when organically grown foods will in fact cost less than foods grown by the "conventional" sector of agriculture. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon; and for the rest of our lives.

#13 — May 2, 2006 @ 19:30PM — njff [URL]

Im impressed with what you know about this subject.How did you ever cope with your penis size matching the size of your little toe?

#14 — May 2, 2006 @ 19:53PM — RedTard

"The reality on the ground is clearly visible. Overuse of chemicals already leads to crop losses on many farms. Farmers can and do get better yields, have less need for irrigation water, have fewer problems with crop diseases, and reduce their overall production costs by reducing or eliminating these toxic chemicals which are supposedly 'necessary' for agriculture."

I was born and raised on a farm and I can tell you, you are absolutely wrong. Farming is extremely competitive, if anything you said were remotely true it would overtake the industry almost instantly. Those chemicals you speak of are very expensive and trust me, many people have tried to compete by not using modern methods. They got buried.

You've been propagandized by the tree huggers. The sad thing is most people are too ignorant about these things to know they've been fed a line of bull. It makes me wonder how many things I believe to be true that were just made up by some special interest group to further their cause.

#15 — May 2, 2006 @ 20:47PM — sal m

red:
that's good...

#16 — May 2, 2006 @ 20:57PM — njff

Sal:
that's crap...

#17 — May 2, 2006 @ 21:13PM — sal m

njff wrote:
"Im impressed with what you know about this subject.How did you ever cope with your penis size matching the size of your little toe?"

please clarify which subject that you are referring to in your above "comment," as i know very little about a lot of subjects.

and njff wrote:
"that's crap..."

now pay attention...try and express yourself without insulting people and by actually putting forth some facts to support your position...and try and use your big boy or girl voice.

are you pro-organic or anti-chemical or both? are you anti-small penis or more of a pro-big penis kind of gal or guy? red did a great job, as did victor in a dissenting view, of getting their point across. try and do it, you can do it ffnj!

#18 — May 2, 2006 @ 21:31PM — sal m

oh well that's not too much better, but i didn't expect you to come through. :(

keep trying!

#19 — May 3, 2006 @ 11:41AM — Victor Plenty [URL]

Red, actually I work in agriculture, for a company that has helped many farmers successfully escape from the chemical industry's cycle of addiction.

Your experience proves only that there are still far more farmers who continue to believe the industry's propaganda telling them they'll go bankrupt if they don't buy the chemicals. The reason for that is simple. The petrochemical industry still has huge resources for advertising and marketing. Despite this, their time will come to an end, one way or another, because their methods cannot be sustained over the long term.

I have personally spoken with a number of farmers who have found a better way, who no longer need to dump tons of expensive toxins onto their land, and who are seeing higher yields and better profits as a result. They also live with less fear, because they know sustainable agriculture will continue to provide healthy yields long after the methods of industrial agriculture have run their course and been abandoned.

#20 — May 3, 2006 @ 12:46PM — RedTard

Ok, Victor whatever you say. Those evil farmers would rather throw away money in order to destroy the environment. Your argument makes no sense and is completely false.

I can only speak for corn, grain, and soybean production from experience though. You may have some inside information on other areas.

You're an advocate, as you mentioned, who is pushing propaganda so your opinion is nowhere close to being objective. My experience is with people trying to make a living in a competitive environment.

People in a super competitive marketplace struggling to avoid bankruptcy and maintain their livelyhood do not throw money away willy-nilly on expensive chemicals that don't work, period.

It disturbs me that there are people out there like yourself spreading disinformation, making innocent farmers out to be evil environment destroyers, and in general being an ass.

#21 — May 3, 2006 @ 12:49PM — RedTard

Changes that positively effect production don't need advocacy groups to take hold, the market creates those on it's own. Now, if you get a bunch of people who are willing to pay double for the same product grown organic, then you might have a case.

#22 — May 3, 2006 @ 14:40PM — zingzing

um... redtard? i don't think he is trying to spread disinformation. it's well known that using those chemicals is bad for the land and therefore bad for the farmer in the longrun. i would suggest that before you nix the entire idea, you convert a portion of your land, just a small bit, into an organic area... test it out. see what happens.

i don't really have an opinion one way or the other, but, as a consumer, i just don't see how spraying chemicals all over something i'm going to put in my mouth is a good thing.

#23 — May 3, 2006 @ 17:20PM — Victor Plenty [URL]

Where did I ever say anything about "evil farmers"?

Somebody's spreading disinformation here, but I'm not the one doing that.

#24 — January 26, 2007 @ 11:50AM — Long Doe

Hi, from my personal experience the penis size thing is true, indisputable. Girth and length. My organ can go from above average to below depending on what I've been eating... You are what you eat remember. Organic oatmeal has had wonderous effects. I don't think there is any debate here. Let's be frank: Organic food tastes better and is obviously better for you... no discussion. Studies that say otherwise are promoting agendas other than your families. They are trying to get food to market, and on the shelves for as long as possible, to make as much profit as possible, and it is produced en mass. People seem to forget one thing. There are a lot of us. And, that means a lot of food... which invites mass production methods, which always kills quality. As a Phd. candidate I warn you not to trust "studies" in general, there is always an alternative variant loading the scales (no one bites the hand that feeds them, otherwise they wouldn't be fed)

#25 — May 5, 2007 @ 11:58AM — Gary [URL]

It is true that organics taste better, even though it is a matter of opinion. I know that I can actually taste the difference between an organic banana and a non-organic banana, I can actually pick the organic one out, from a blind taste test.

If the taste alone isn't enough, maybe it is time one of us see what God's word has to say about the topic...(I know once I said that, a lot of you will begin to ignore what I have to say, please don't though)

The Bible has a lot to say about health, but I am only going to give you one verse at this time...

Lev.22:7 "And when the sun is down, he shall be clean, and shall afterward eat of the holy things; because it is his food."

I also believe the Bible states exactly how to grow food, although I don't know exactly where it is...

Although the Bible should be the authority in the matter, if this isn't enough....

It is simply obvious that the chemicals put on our food, cannot be good for us, likewise purely natural foods, are excellent for us.

#26 — January 12, 2008 @ 18:06PM — G

Hah! Very interesting and funny article. I've never been much for organic foods. Even the possibility of having a bigger penis doesn't persuade me to buy organic, but I'm sure there are plenty of men out there that would feel differently. Very funny. What about those poor aligators? They don't even have a choice in the matter. Somebody should really do something.

#27 — May 20, 2008 @ 22:30PM — Fuotupuraz

Organic foods are often smaller, mottled and blemished, and typically less nutritious and worm-ridden when compared to foods produced by modern scientific cultivation methods.

Like the global warming hoax, it's just another political scam to dupe stupid people, although some of it's proponents are sincere in their beliefs, due to their exceptional naivety of actual facts and realities of life, much like hippies and jesus people are/were.

#28 — June 27, 2008 @ 18:35PM — ASH

Ever heard of intersex fish in our Rivers? Guys the hormones from birth control pills and replacement therapies when discharged by waste water treatments are feminizing male fish; there are all kinds of drugs and pharmaceuticals in drinking waterand some of them have estrogenic effects, and these facts are verified and documented. Shouldn't worrying about size from smoking take a back seat to the curent situation leading to permanent ED.

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