Another Baby Boom

What is it with all these unplanned pregnancies, already?

Tune in to Jerry Springer or Maury. So many women trying to figure out whom the father of their child is. So many men denying they had anything to do with it. Cut to the cute, innocent baby who is the unwitting cause of all this sad commotion. Fortunately, DNA testing is a giant leap forward - not only in quickly uncovering the truth of the matter, but in saving some other poor innocent souls from death row for good measure.

When I was in college, I had a number of, well, brief encounters. But I always had the foresight to dutifully wear my diaphragm. I never wanted children, never wanted marriage — despite two long-term relationships. The first one lasted 20 years. The second one has seen seven years and counting. Maybe if I'd married these men I would have jinxed it. In any case, I was always a maverick and hated every cheesy wedding reception I ever attended. So bourgeois, so predictable, and so likely to lead to divorce, along with children who are traumatized by bitter custody battles.

My boyfriend BG has an even more colorful past, including two marriages, various relationships, and countless dalliances. Back in the day, STDs were not as much of an issue as they are now, so BG sometimes neglected to wear his "party hat" - his nickname for condoms. Generally, it was because the woman in question supposedly was on the pill or claimed she was infertile. Nevertheless, as a result, BG's parents probably have at least one grandchild out there somewhere they'll never know about.

In the case in question, the woman claimed she was on the pill, but I guess she forgot a dose or ten. Granted, BG made every attempt to do the honorable thing. He offered to marry the woman he had apparently impregnated who already had one child from a previous relationship. But she had no desire for marriage and indeed intended to abort the baby. However, being the wild party girl she was, after gathering funds from friends to get an abortion in another state, she instead checked herself into a hotel room for several days and got good and drunk. (Very healthy for the baby to be, I might add.) Eventually, she gave the child up for adoption. Hopefully, s/he got a good home, but I shudder to think what all that pre-natal alcohol might have done to the poor child's system.

Happily Ever After?

Aside from the nice normal folk who do it the "proper" way — marriage, children, divorce, second marriage, children, divorce, etc. etc. ad nauseum, thus putting their kids through the stress and pain of a fractured family — there are also the myriad women I see schlepping strollers up and down the subway steps with no hubby to help them. Many of them are poor and have to struggle to raise their children all alone, or perhaps with the help of grandma. Many of them, who apparently thought that having a child would result in a blissful life of perfect, cute, perpetually smiling and cooing little angels, have quickly experienced a rude awakening. But puzzlingly enough, that doesn't seem to give them pause as they produce one illegitimate child after the other after the other. However, many may simply not have had ready access to free birth control and other family planning services - which is another post altogether.