ND: Right!

AS: My take on it is that Love is sitting in the first row on the 50-yard line, surrounded by admirers. All the team players and the press are gathered around Love: "Oh, you're the greatest thing!" "Can you be in my song?" "No, can you be in my song?" "I want you in my song!" And Plenipotentiary is sitting in the very back row of the stands, totally ignored by everybody. Poor Plenipotentiary has never been in a song; it never even gets used in casual speech. Plenipotentiary is sitting there wondering, "Why can't I be like Love? Why can't I be in a song? Help, help, I'm growing old without ever having been used!" And, of course, I march right past Love...

ND: You've spent plenty of time there.

AS: Yes... (both laugh) but today, I march past Love and go right to the back row. "Plenipotentiary, I've come to put you in a song." And Plenipotentiary is so happy about this. Plenipotentiary throws its arms around me and kisses me and says, "Oh, this is fantastic! I've waited all my life for this moment." I planned to do it!

ND: (nearly in tears) You performed a linguistic service!

AS: (still laughing) There you are. That's what I do.

ND: But, all joking aside, the fact remains "Royal Courtship" is a wonderful song.

AS: When I wrote it, I was sitting there thinking of Austria in the early 19th century, but it doesn't have to be there, it could be anywhere. I mean, a king... Getting married is such palaver: You can't just walk up to the nearest girl you meet on the street and say, "Hi, honey, you wanna come to the movies?" It just doesn't work that way. You have to send your people to meet her people. Well, what happens is that everything gets lost in translation when messages are passed between 34 different people. (laughs)

ND: It's not quite so romantic.

AS: It doesn't work. It's like trying to deal [reasonably] with the cable company or something; it just can't be done. It's really [about] the breakdown in communication. When I wrote it, I was probably trying to get something repaired in the house. I was probably dealing with people who turn up seven times, but each time they turn up, they don't have the right equipment or they didn't get the message or they don't know 'cause it's their first day on the job or whatever... There's just a total breakdown of communication in modern life, I think. Much of it doesn't work. So, I had all this is the back of my mind and wondered: Has it always been this way? And then I thought, well, in terms of "Royal Courtship," it pretty well had to be this way. It's amazing anyone married anybody.