Satire: Karl Rove and the Gospel of Judas
Published April 08, 2006
Author's note: I wrote this several months ago before I ever knew that there was a Gospel of Judas lurking out there. A few weeks ago I noticed that I was getting many hits from search engines looking for the "Gospel of Judas" then was surprised to see first the National Geographic article, then Eric Olsen's Harry Potter and the Gospel of Judas here on Blogcritics. The Internet can be mystical in its own ways at times.
As some of you may know, blogs don't pay the rent. Once in a while, I get recognized on the 'net and I get perks others don't. People have made special offers to me help me identify any adware or viruses on my computer absolutely free or to play Internet poker. One time I did get a chance to help out an actual Nigerian prince who had apparently been stranded in the United States.
Still, I have to find other ways to pay for my DSL connection. As some of you know, I occasionally help write things for non-top secret high level administration officials. A year ago, the Vice President commisioned me to edit the Constitution down to a hundred words. Just a few months ago, I got to write some jokes for the First Lady's appearance at the White House Correspondent's dinner. She was so grateful for my help that I got invited to a horse milking party in Crawford with Karl Rove, Jeff Gannon (formerly of Talon News), and Ken Mehlman.
I didn't actually wind up getting to milk any horses. Both Mr. Gannon and Mr. Rove were having such a good time, the rest of us decided not to interrupt them since both of them have had a difficult year and they genuinely seemed to be lost in the moment. I did have the honor of watching Desperate Housewives with Mrs. Bush and Mrs. Cheney, who told me the idea for the show was lifted from her doctoral thesis.
My discretion paid off. Mr. Rove is one of those guys who notices everything. Did you know he even calls reporters to help them get their stories right? Once in a while, the reporters do stupid things like tell him top secret information about covert CIA agents and Mr. Rove always takes care to show them how not to violate some silly act from 1982. A few weeks after the party in Crawford, he called me with a project.
- Satire: Karl Rove and the Gospel of Judas
- Published: April 08, 2006
- Type: Satire
- Section: Politics
- Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire, Culture: Religion, Politics: U.S.
- Writer: Chancelucky
- Chancelucky's BC Writer page
- Chancelucky's personal site
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/golfclap
best...read...of...the...day!
now i gotta clean the orange soda off of my Monitaur...
nuff said?
Excelsior!
Hey,
This literally seals the issue that I have been breaking my head over many many years....that Christianity was not what it seems to be.
Thanks, and I am avidly looking for more.
Georgie
Thanks for all of your kind comments. The first time I posted this on my own site, I was getting about 10 hits/day so wasn't sure if more than a couple people read it. It's very gratifying to know that people read it and enjoyed it.
The Karl Rove stories are part of a series btw over on my website. They're listed either in humor or Karl Rove on my tag list.
While a fresh historical row has erupted over Gospel of Judas, Qu’ran and Islamic history too had recorded this event
According to Islamic history quoted by Imam Jalaluddin al-Suyuti (born 1445), it was Judas who faced death on
the cross and not Jesus whom God had “raised unto himself” (Qu’ran Chapter 158).
According to Al Suyuti “when the rabbis could no longer bear Prophet Jesus’ preaching they hatched conspiracy
to eliminate him with the help of one of his disciple Judas, who is known as Tatyanoos in Arabic history.
With the help of Judas, the Rabbis used Roman soldiers in their plan”.
Judas informed them that Prophet Jesus would be alone in a room at a particular time. Thus Tatyanoos or Judas
as he is known in the Bible, accompanied by the Roman soldiers made his way to the place where Jesus was
offering his prayers.
Judas instructed the soldiers to remain outside and entered the room alone.
However, before Tatyanoos entered the room, God “raised Jesus up”! So, when Tatyanoos entered the room, the
room was empty. Judas’ appearance was miraculously transformed to resemble that of Jesus. The soldiers,
despite his protests, captured him and crucified him in Jesus’ place.
Qu’ran has recorded: “... and for their (Jews) saying, ‘We killed the Messiah, Jesus the son of Mary, the
Messenger of Allah’. They did not kill him, nor did they crucify him, but to them (the one crucified) was
given the look (of Jesus).
Those who differ concerning him (Jesus) surely are in doubt regarding him, they have no knowledge of him,
except the following of supposition, and they did not kill him — a certainty. Rather, Allah raised him up to
Him. Allah is Mighty, the Wise.” (Qu’ran Ch. 4 verses 157 - 158).
Interesting. I know the Qu'ran does not include the crucifixion, butu does include Jesus and there is someone who is taken for Jesus, but can you point me to Tatyanoos in the text itself? You seem to be using citations, but the formatting here is making it hard for me to follow them.
thanks.
Blessed are the peacemakers:
for they shall be called the
Children of God
(Mat 5:9)
Jesus's way is not by sword but by cross
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Dude, this is SO wrong on so many multiple levels. I mean, are you WANTING a vacation at Gitmo or something? What the hell's wrong with you?
If this doesn't make the editor's picks this week, I'ma have to whoop the editor's asses.