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Anna Benson, "Baseball's Hottest Wife," Wants a Divorce, Incessant Media Attention

Written by Matthew T. Sussman
Published March 31, 2006

When it comes to gorgeous women, there is an adage to which men must adhere: "No matter how good she looks, some guy out there is sick of putting up with her shit."

It should be law that Anna Benson has that tattooed somewhere, as a stern reminder of what not to mount.

Mrs. Benson has filed for divorce after seven years with Baltimore Orioles pitcher Kris Benson, whose claim to fame is his 4.25 ERA and 57-61 career win-loss record ridiculously gorgeous and annoying spouse.

Why's Anna annoying? Because she craves the attention of the media. When Kris Benson was pitching in New York City, Anna frequented the tabloid pages of those oh-so-respected publications the Big Apple features as she gallivanted about town hobnobbing with celebrities. She is also famous for saying that if Kris ever cheated on her, that she would sleep with entire New York Mets.

Well, now she can.


While I hate to give a hot annoying woman attention (such as writing articles like this), perhaps it's for the best she gives a last-ditch effort to have a story about her appear on the front of ESPN.com. That way, she builds up a false sense of security that she has redeeming qualities that aren't nestled in a 34DD baseball-patterned brassiere.

I feel bad for Kris, though, as every man does. This is a dude who agreed to do an interview — if by "interview" we actually mean "your wife asks you some lame questions as an excuse to snap some semi-nude photos of her" — in FHM. Among the nuggets of joy Anna shared to the public, Wifey said that if Kris Benson ever won the Cy Young Award he could have anything he wanted, such as "50 free times up the ass."

And, to think, all Chris Carpenter got last year for taking home the NL Cy Young award was $50,000 and a trophy.

So here's to the chilling conclusion of Anna Benson from being mentioned in the same breath as anything baseball related. Now I'm ready for Opening Day.

Matt SussmanMatt Sussman is the sports editor of BC Magazine and also writes for Deadspin, SPORTSbyBROOKS, The Futon Report, and the Toledo Free Press. Catch him Mondays and Fridays at 8 p.m. ET with asst. sports editor Tuffy on Treehouse Fort, the official show of BC Sports.

E-mail sports-related inquiries (or inquiry-related sports, such as full-contact Twenty Questions) to matt.sussman@blogcritics.org.
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Anna Benson, "Baseball's Hottest Wife," Wants a Divorce, Incessant Media Attention
Published: March 31, 2006
Type: News
Section: Sports
Filed Under: Culture: Family and Relationships, Sports: Baseball
Writer: Matthew T. Sussman
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Comments

#1 — March 31, 2006 @ 08:09AM — Victor Lana [URL]

Great post, Suss! I was so sick of Anna when she was here in New York. As a Mets fan, I cringed when she appeared anywhere (I sense Kris felt the same way). She appeared on local TV shows and was always a complete nutcase.

I always figured that Kris would wake up one day and say, "The *&^%ing I'm getting ain't worth the *&^%ing I'm getting." Too bad he didn't do it whilst in Pittsburgh and before coming here.

Anna's appearances on Howard Stern's "free" radio show are legendary (I believe that is where she made her intent to sleep with all the Mets if Kris cheated known for the first time).

Also, last year's team Christmas party was eye opening. Kris played Santa Claus and Anna was there in a Mrs. Claus outfit that was more suited for a strip club. This is an event for CHILDREN and has always been a big part of the Mets charity work, and there was Anna looking like a hooker trying to be an elf.

All I can say is I wish Kris the best, but I'll bet this is not the last we've heard of Anna.

#2 — March 31, 2006 @ 09:35AM — Matthew T. Sussman [URL]

Anything else I didn't say can be best summed up by The Mighty MJD.

#3 — March 31, 2006 @ 09:49AM — Metsfan

I have news for you Matthew: It was Kris' **shit** that Anna was tired of putting up with that caused the split and not the other way around. According to today's NY Daily News, she caught him fooling around with one of her friends.

Try as you might to denigrate Anna's admittedly wild behavior, much of which I don't even like, it had a negligible impact on Kris as a mediocre pitcher, his Mets teammates, or the Mets club. It was something to just be amused by and to forget. I don't think for one instance his trade to Baltimore had anything to do with his wife.

In the end, their demise as a couple came down to:
No matter how much money he has, some gal out there is sick of putting up with his shit.

#4 — March 31, 2006 @ 10:42AM — Phillip Winn [URL]

Metsfan, it's a chicken-and-egg issue. Assuming the cheating really happened, why did Kris cheat on Anna? Because he was tired of... well, you get the idea.

#5 — March 31, 2006 @ 11:00AM — Matthew T. Sussman [URL]

Does this mean everybody on the O's has to take a number?

#6 — March 31, 2006 @ 11:01AM — Metsfan

Phillip, Kris has only supported his wife publicly, and he's been very vocal in his support. Every move she's made including the Mrs. Claus outfit he's supported. If he was tired of her act, he's never said so. You're only guessing he was, maybe because you are personally tired/offended by her and you want it to be that way. But all indications are that he welcomed her schtick. Do you know he proudly showed off her FHM photos to his Orioles teammates? That doesn't sound like a husband who's tired of his wife's behavior.

People don't always cheat on their spouses because they're tired of them. It's funny. Kris is the one who acted like a "whore" but it's Anna who's being painted as one.

#7 — March 31, 2006 @ 15:38PM — Mark David Chapman

I have spoken to Anna on several occasions. She has never hinted about not being happy or being available for sex. She is not the brightest bulb on the porch though. So my guess is that she got in way over her head with these vultures that run the skin magazines and simply ended up in bed half dozen times. With whom? I do not know.. I guess you'd have to ask Anna that question. I do know one thing for sure. Being fairly attractive as she is, and not being very smart as neither of them are? These are two very dangerous ingredients for a marriage.

#8 — March 31, 2006 @ 16:20PM — Anonymous

Metsfan is exactly right. Kris has always been completely supportive of Anna and the pursuit of her own career. He has always been amused by her rants outspoken behavior. At the same time, Anna has always been 100% respectful of Kris and his wishes with regards to what he is comfortable with her sharing publicly. She has always maintained complete loyalty to her husband and to her kids.

You may think Anna is annoying or dumb and you are entitled to your opinion, but you have to admit that she is a marketing genius. She made herself a celebrity by reeling the media in hook, line, and sinker. If websites like this one didn't publish articles about her you'd never know her name. So if you are one that is pissed off that she is "famous for no reason" blame the media. They are the ones that take her picture, quote her in magazines, and put her on TV.

The media will try to tie this story into being connected with the events surrounding his trade, but I assure you they are completely unrelated. The only person that knows for sure if the Mets traded Kris because of Anna is Omar Minaya.

I used to be a fan of Kris both as a player and a person. Despite his major league statistics, I always thought he had chance to be something special. Now I see that he is a nothing but a loser.

#9 — March 31, 2006 @ 16:46PM — Matthew T. Sussman [URL]

Good points by all -- I have been extremely careful to not call her a common whore and let the "if he cheats on me" quote speak for itself.

I don't know if she's a marketing genius, but off the top of my head I can think of two marketable features about her.

#10 — March 31, 2006 @ 19:26PM — Victor Lana [URL]

One extremely negative thing to Anna's credit: she started the "rumor" that Omar Minaya (Mets GM) wanted an all-Latin team. No matter how dim a bulb she may be, that was uncalled for and extremely offensive (and also absolutely incorrect as Minaya has proven with many of his moves).

#11 — March 31, 2006 @ 19:38PM — Matthew T. Sussman [URL]

Dollars to donuts she's a Fox News on-air talent by year's end.

I know I used the word "talent," but that's just the title you get when you go on-air.

#12 — April 1, 2006 @ 01:04AM — RJ Elliott [URL]

When it comes to gorgeous women, there is an adage to which men must adhere: "No matter how good she looks, some guy out there is sick of putting up with her shit."

It should be law that Anna Benson has that tattooed somewhere, as a stern reminder of what not to mount.


ROTFL! :)

#13 — April 1, 2006 @ 01:07AM — RJ Elliott [URL]

I always figured that Kris would wake up one day and say, "The *&^%ing I'm getting ain't worth the *&^%ing I'm getting."

ROTFLMFAO! :-P

#14 — April 2, 2006 @ 17:50PM — Earl

This could give a whole new meaning to the term "dugout"

Yikes!

#15 — April 3, 2006 @ 19:06PM — NR Davis [URL]

As a Baltimorean and an Orioles nut (take that, damned Devil Rays!), I find it both a disappointment and a relief that Anna Benson won't be sticking around in Charm City. When the teamed signed her spouse, she immediately started courting the press and it was both embarrassing and fun. Ms. Benson would have been interesting.

As for the double standard, come on. That's nothing new.

#16 — April 3, 2006 @ 19:12PM — MCH

Man those look like they'd be fun to play with. Oops, gotta run, wife just walked in...someone quick, call 911...ahhhhhh

#17 — April 4, 2006 @ 01:15AM — Matthew T. Sussman [URL]

I hate to say it, NR -- it is a battle for fourth place in the AL East. But maybe Kris can rebound with another baseball gal or semi-relevant model and heat up the Sun's gossip page. Although he didn't even come close to a man-whore persona until it was discovered he ate from the forbidden fruit of Anna's friend, I highly doubt he'll go for another FHM-worthy gal, given what he went through before in the press.

But now Anna has to really compete for Baseball's Hottest Ex-Wife, because now she has to compete with Halle Berry (David Justice).

Double standard? Don't you mean double-D standard?

#18 — April 4, 2006 @ 13:53PM — Chelsea Snyder [URL]

Is this the point where I can come in and tell everyone that B5 IS SOOO HOTT N ANY OF U BITCHES WHO THINK RICKY WANTS YOU IS RONG B-CUZ HE IS MY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Phew. Glad I got that out of my system.

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