By the same token, I feel that knowing we are mortal and that we have to struggle to get what we want gives us a sense of urgency. Sine we won't have forever, there is a "deadline" attached to everything we hope to accomplish in our lifetimes. If we had forever to pursue our goals, I think the world would come to a standstill in the same way it would if we didn't need to eat or compete — even if we only compete with ourselves.

Which all leads up to my observation, unscientific as it may be, that a lot of bloggers seem to be quitting, going on hiatus, and/or in a deep funk. It is very jarring to visit site after site that you assume will always be there and log on one day to find that this will be a blogger's last post. Some stop because they can't handle flamers; some to pursue other interests like writing a book; some because they've found that blogging is preventing them from pursuing their "real" lives to their satisfaction.

But it is always a shock to see a site that has become very popular just give it all up. It smacks of some sort of deep disillusionment and despair to totally quit something that you've worked hard to establish. I'm talking here of bloggers who have stayed the course, rather than those who try blogging and then give it up after a few months, realizing it isn't for them.

Maybe they realize that life is indeed short, and they don't want to spend one hundred years in front of a computer screen. One of my ex-boyfriend's brothers died sitting in front of his computer, which seemed very poignant to me. Is that what I want to do — sit in a tiny apartment all day and blog myself to death?

Since I emerged from yet another very severe depression about two years ago, I have gone through a few hypomanic periods. There is perhaps no way to describe what it feels like to go from the depths of hell back into the world of the living feeling not just normal, but invincible. It's like you've gotten a new lease on life. Moreover, most of my hypomanic episodes seem to happen in early spring, which feels kind of like your life is in rhythm with nature as it blossoms again after a long, cold, dark winter.

So although the illness is still with me, I feel like I've been given a reprieve, and feel very grateful. But I also know that now is the time to enjoy life to the fullest, because with every passing year that races by, I'm closer to the end and I want to cram as much as I can into it.