I'm Not a Ho, I Just Have Friends
Published March 26, 2006
In other households, when the phone rings in the middle of the night it usually bodes no good. In my house, it means some dizzy friend has once again forgotten about the concept of time difference.
"But it's morning in India," one such recent caller said.
"Yes," I replied. "Too bad I'm in New York."
Then there are the people who call my parents' house in India at two in the morning for a bit of chitchat.
"Wassup?" says G, entirely too happy and ghetto fabulous for Ungodly Hour in Sleepy Cochin Where Everyone is Abed by Nine. "Heard you were back, babe."
"Er, nothing," I mumble, trying to ignore my father's scowl as he waits for me to hang up so he can go back to sleep. "Thing is, I'm in my parents' bedroom..."
"You sleep with your parents?" he asks incredulously, displaying poor sentence construction skills. "Wassamatter? Ran out of bedrooms? And to think you used to make fun of me just coz I lived with my uncle and aunt when I was an undergrad."
"Freak," I say, as kindly as possible. "I don't share a bedroom with my folks. This phone line, on the other hand, definitely does."
The good thing about such an occurrence in my parents' home is that I never need to explain much. Having met my father, every single one of my friends immediately hangs up. Of course, then I have to hear all about it, but since my father is secretly proud of the fact that his little girl is capable of maintaining friendships even across great distances, the mutterings generally die down within a day or two. Once in a while, though, he will ask -
"How come only boys call you?"
It puzzles the parental unit that I don't know many girls. Well, it puzzles me too.
I like girls. Not in any snicker-snicker nudge-wink sense, but in a general way. I am not awkward in the company of my own sex. I have plenty of stuff to bond over. I like discussing things with my girlfriends; two out of my three best friends are women and so on and so forth. And yet, when you look at the overview, I do know more men than women.
I went to school with more men, I played with more men, I studied with more men, I partied with more men, I competed with more men - you get the idea. In college I was the only woman in a group of four to eight guys who went out regularly, to the point that I think they kind of forgot I was a girl. I certainly found out more about the male gender than I ever wanted to know, especially bodily functions and male imperatives (food, sex, sports and drink - in no particular order, with occasional breaks for Other Stuff like, maybe, a job).
- I'm Not a Ho, I Just Have Friends
- Published: March 26, 2006
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: Family and Relationships, Culture: Society, Culture: Travel
- Writer: Amrita Rajan
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- Amrita Rajan's personal site
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Comments on this articleComments
Great article - funny, but with a serious point, too. I'd say more, but sadly my post-breakfast brain doesn't get much better than this.
Excellent article Amrita.
Have you seen "When Harry Met Sally," with Billy Crystal?
It supports what I believe. Men and women can't be close friends out of wedlock. Let me rephrase; women can, but men can't. Men, when they are near or around females think about them sexually much of the time. Your guy friends, though they may respect you personally and professionally, still were attracted to you. Perhaps none of them ever made a pass, but that's because they respected you enough not to. That's probably due to you being a strong and intelligent woman.
@ Diane - thanks! I'll take it I left you speechless :)
@ nugget - who hasnt? and you might have a point although it leaves me feeling slightly icky thinking of some, and slightly flattered thinking of others. thanks for reading :)
I have seen "When Harry Met Sally" and I disagree with the premise of that movie and with nugget.
I have a close female friend who I have known for over 10 years, and there really isn't a subject we can't talk about but I really don't have much of a desire to sleep with her, for the simple reason that I don't find her very attractive. She feels quite the opposite, however.
Bottom line is, if the physical chemistry isn't there on both sides, it doesn't matter how strong or intelligent she is. Unless, of course, the man is one of those who is just interested in another notch on his bedpost, I suppose, but to say all men are like that is painting with way too broad a brush. I only think about women sexually if I'm attracted to them, and there are many, a vast majority really, that don't attract me, therefore I don't think about them that way.
hey steve - thanks for the comment. interestingly, to me it seemed to support the movie's and nugget's theory that men and women can;t ever have a relationship without it having brushed against sexuality at some point ("She feels quite the opposite, however. ")
where you and nugget seem to disagree is on the issue of men and how much sex on the brain do they really have.
Yes, my comment was directed more toward nugget, Amrita.
The movie at least, suggested consumation was inevitable, which is further than 'brushed against sexuality' as you put it.
i think nugget has brains, and the writter has memories.
Nice to know some things are universal, like parents. Almost fell out of my chair laughing over your comment that most of your friends who've met your father, hang up.
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That was really good. I'd say more, but my pre-breakfast brain isn't ready for substantial thought.