A stroke of genius really.

I'm not sure why Nicole hooked up with Evan Chappel. Maybe it was a fluke, maybe she was obituary surfing and saw that he was newly widowed with a young daughter. I do believe that once she was confronted with the truth about her daughter (when I say truth, I mean someone knew the child existed and then died) I don't think that she could just stuff it all down again. It was too much and even one single other person knowing, well, that made it suddenly very real. Gwen was maybe a little older than her own child would have been and she knew that this was likely her last crack at some sort of motherhood. The fact that Gwen was at risk for gynecological cancer once she hit puberty, that made Nicole even more protective of her. In her mind it was making up for what she couldn't prevent years earlier. She had every intention of being in this child's life. Probably in part because she knew firsthand the tough road ahead of Gwen in a few years.

These are some of the things that spin in my head all at once. All of the similarities - my mother's illness, Nicole's illness, neither could protect their children. My father, Nicole's boyfriend, Dan Croyden - they're all pretty much the same despicable man but presented a bit differently on the outside. I watched my mother struggle to get well while her supposed biggest supporter was only dead weight. I can imagine Nicole in that same situation.

It doesn't change things, not ultimately. She killed several people before having a child and she has killed several since. Nothing cancels out the damage that has already been done. It does make me see her as a person though, someone that has been through hell herself and not only by her own misdeeds.

Serial killer. A nice, neat label. Beneath it always lies a complicated, painful mess.