REVIEW

TV Review: Big Love on HBO

Written by Amrita Rajan
Published March 18, 2006
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But, since this is HBO and the times being the sensitive way they are, the Mormon Church is not amused. The mainstream church forbade the practice of polygamy in 1890 and state law has made it illegal, although 20,000 to 30,000 people continue to practice it in the States today. However, every so often it makes the news - whether it is on daytime talk shows or fictionalized accounts. It can be a woman defending her polygamous relationship or it could be the horror story of a young woman rescued from her life as the child bride of a man old enough to be her grandfather.

But if Big Love is not an endorsement of polygamy, it is stirring up its share of controversy and debate and its not just amongst the religiously inclined. If Mormons are worried about misrepresentation, then others have begun to speculate that legislating for gay marriage could legalize polygamy as well. It's not just your average slippery slope, it's Armageddon, people! At least, it should be when a section of the religious right makes hay while the gay sun is shining. What interesting times we live in.

It is very easy to see significance in a concept that one finds uncomfortable. If the Sopranos has been endlessly analyzed for its impact on violence in society and Brokeback Mountain for its effect on gay image, then it only makes sense that Big Love would stir up emotions about a practice that many see as immoral.

Personally, I admit I am not a fan of polygamy. It might be my inner feminist or perhaps it's the hidden bigot in me, but I admit to a deep rooted bias against any religious practice that advocates polygamy and incest and allows marriage to minors. I also understand that in these sensitive times, I cannot make a statement such as that and not expect the specter of Islam to raise its head, especially when I identify myself as an Indian woman and a Hindu.

Respect for other people's (or at least, consenting adults') choices and opinions, however, does not mean the subjugation of my own. And as the descendant of a family that may have practiced polyandry and who definitely practiced matriarchy and matrilineage, I can say that things aren't fair on either side of the fence.

Or it could just be that I am a woman who doesn't believe in sharing. Your average, run-of-the-mill and garden variety reaction to the idea of a shared spouse.

Big Love could just be an entertaining hour on TV. So kick back, relax and think of Jesus (or Ang Lee if you prefer), every Sunday on HBO, right after the Sopranos.

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Amrita Rajan keeps an eye on the world from NYC.
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TV Review: Big Love on HBO
Published: March 18, 2006
Type: Review
Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Comedy, Video: Drama, Video: Television
Writer: Amrita Rajan
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Comments

#1 — March 18, 2006 @ 09:04AM — Ashok Banker [URL]

Nice review. Nicely balanced, despite the potentially provocative subject of polygamy and religious cults. I like the fact that you weren't afraid to mention your personal views, while retaining a more genial general outlook.

As for 'too cute' bios, here's my topper: 'Ashok loves reading, writing, writing about reading, and reading about writing.' Howzatt! :~)

#2 — March 18, 2006 @ 11:19AM — Victor Lana [URL]

Nice post, Amrita. I do have a little trouble with polygamy and its ramifications. The difference with the call for gay marriages is that two people want to commit to ONE relationship. In the end, marriage is really a confirmation of the importance of love between two people (whether gay or straight) and a firm binding of that love legally (and perhaps in the eyes of one's god).

I'm not quite sure what message this kind of thing sends about one man being married to three women. All I know is that a show about one woman being married to three men wouldn't ever make it onto TV, even dear old HBO.

#3 — March 18, 2006 @ 11:53AM — Aaman [URL]

Good to see you around, Ashok:)

#4 — March 18, 2006 @ 12:23PM — Amrita [URL]

@ Ashok - hey, thanks! I just have a tendency to mouth off in any and every case. And yes, you did outdo me on that tag! :)

@ Victor - You're right about that polyandry thing but I'd pay money [on top of the extortionate amount charged as it is] to see it. I guess the problem with the whole gay/polygamy issue, is that nuance can often be dismissed as sophistry, especially in high octane 'discussions' about sensitive topics. That said, I totally agree with you.

#5 — March 18, 2006 @ 12:43PM — John Spivey [URL]

A good well-written intelligent post. Thanks for that. As a side note, I belive that Utah is one of the leaders in the U.S. for divorce rate and spousal abuse. Fundamentalism of any stripe only ends up abusing its adherents.

#6 — April 3, 2006 @ 09:22AM — David Vincent

The reasons Mormons have misgivings about "Big Love" are unfortunately (and, no doubt, inadvertently) illustrated even in your well thought-out review.

It is incorrect to say that the "mainstream church" forbade polygamy. Rather, the "Mormon Church" forbade polygamy. Groups that continue to practice polygamy are not Mormon any more than Lutherans are Catholic. The Associated Press style guidelines, sundry dictionaries, and predominant colloquial usage indicate that "Mormon" is to be used only in connection with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Polygamist groups are by definition not associated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and are thus not "Mormon".

In fact, polygamist groups have in recent years bombed multiple Mormon buildings and continually made death threats against Mormon leaders. (For this reason, my own preferred term for polygamist groups is "anti-Mormon".) It is little wonder that Mormons no not wish to be associated with polygamist groups.

Indeed, perpetuation of the incorrect association between Mormons and polygamist groups leads well-intentioned people such as commenter John Spivey to rely on entrenching heuristics in discussing relevant "facts" (in fact, Utah is consistently at about the national norm for divorce rates, but the divorce figure is much lower for practicing Mormon Utahns -- I haven't looked into spousal abuse figures, but I can say that in the U.S., Mormon women are more likely to attain a college degree than women of any other religious persuasion other than Jewish women, a fact that is inconsistent with typical patterns of spousal abuse).

#7 — June 3, 2006 @ 01:18AM — Janet M. Vasilius

Excellent comments! I love the show. I have been watching the show with my 3 exchange students and American son, ages 17 to 24. They are all hooked, too. We have had great discussions on various (mostly negative) aspects of polygamy in different societies.

Even more interesting is their reaction to the LDS Church as portrayed on the series. They are all very intrigued with the lifestyle presented, even my son, who has never been interested before. Big Love could turn out a boon for the LDS image. While I have never been interested in becoming a Morman, I grew up in Northern Arizona and know them as great neighbors and admirable friends. I think that Big Love clearly delineates between LDS and polygamist sects, and displays many of the positive aspects of the LDS community while poking gentle fun as well (who really enjoys being lectured by self-righteous teens - whether LDS missionaries or goths!)

I think that Big Love is great entertainment, but I think it also teaches. While I want to hiss at "Roman" my heart aches at the distress of "Sara," and "Rhonda" gives me chills. The actors are outstanding and the script even more so. In my own house Big Love has lead to more discussion than any other show. This is a good thing.

For those interested, I recommend UNDER THE BANNER OF HEAVEN as a companion book.

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