At what point did all of the creative people in the world stop producing material? Did all of the screenwriters just run out of material? Who can explain Hollywood's obsession with pointlessly remaking old movies for a "new" generation?

Writer/Director Alexandre Aja's The Hills Have Eyes is a loose remake of Wes Craven's 1977 cult favorite of the same name. The plot is pretty simple and can be summed up thusly: crazed cannibal mutants terrorize the Brady family. Okay, it's not the Brady family, but do you remember the Grand Canyon episode of The Brady Bunch, in which they get trapped in a ghost town? The Hills Have Eyes has a similar setting, only instead of a crazed Jim Backus, you have assorted crazed mutant cannibals who are in the mood for some human flesh.

Why mutants? Well, it turns out that the mutants are kin to miners who wouldn't leave their New Mexico desert homes while nuclear testing was being conducted, and as a result you've got a bunch of blood-thirsty mutants just waiting to try out some human flesh tikka masala. (Mmmm...tikka masala....)

We open at a deserted gas station. It's one of those creepy gas stations in horror movies where no one seems to actually be there and you know that the proprietor will have a crazed look in his eyes but will seem nice and will give folks directions to their destination — or, rather, directions to a short-cut that will take folks to the blood-thirsty mutant cannibals. Why couldn't they call the movie that? Blood Thirsty Mutant Cannibals. I like it.

We meet the Carter family, making the trek across the New Mexico desert on their way to California. In need of gas and directions, the family stops at the aforementioned gas station. The crazy gas station owner fills up the family's SUV and tells them about a short-cut through the desert that will shave two hours off of their trip. Everyone thinks accepting directions for a crazy man is a good idea and they speed off.