I have been thinking a lot about the diet here. I am at a point right now where there is a noticeable difference in the way I look. However, I don't look the way I want to. And I have been wondering why I don't feel all that guilty about essentially taking the last two days off.

Obviously I'm not improving the process by taking these days off, so why am I not worried? It hit me today as I was driving back to the arena. What I have done in the last 60 days is create new habits. I am 100 percent sure that once I return, I will go right back to the lifestyle I have been living for the last two months. Before, once I temporarily went off a diet, I was never going back. That dieting episode was dead. But now I feel like I am a healthy person simply enjoying certain foods when I have the chance. There is no question in my mind that I will get down to 270 in the near future. And I know that I will resume the workout routine Friday.

What made the previous screw-ups so frustrating was that A) I had yet to prove to myself that I could really turn my habits around, and B) the 100 days theory gave me absolutely no room for error. Now I know that I have turned things around and my goals are very clear right now. I am focused on this weight loss, even as I eat deep fried bread. I know an isolated incident when I see it. This was one. My mind is clear on this subject, my heart is aimed directly at the goal.

Of course, that doesn't mean it is OK for me to just go off the diet until I get home. I think it would be a very good goal for me to eat healthy on Wednesday and Thursday. I have to admit that I was kind of sluggish after lunch today and I don't really like feeling that way. Of course, that is the exact way I felt every day of 2005. I guess sometimes it might be good to remember how shitty food makes you feel.

I am very confident right now, so I hope you guys aren't too disappointed in my eating over the last two days. I will try to do an entry for Thursday, but I can't guarantee anything right now.