OPINION

Academy Awards Red Carpet: Best and Worst Dressed

Written by Chris Evans
Published March 07, 2006

I was a bit disappointed in the fashions last night; there were a few that were stunning (Felicity, Jessica), but for the most part the dresses were pretty lackluster - much like the telecast itself.

With that said, here are my choices:

Worst Dressed

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Is anyone else truly frightened? I am. You do know Corpse Bride was just a movie, right Helena Bonham Carter? I'm gonna need you to put the Kate Moss meets Bjork collection back in the closet. America isn't ready.

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We haven't seen big black women sport trash bags since Missy Elliott's "I Can't Stand The Rain" back in the late 90s. Guess the Queen decided to try to bring that shit back. Sorry honey, history's not quite ready to repeat itself yet. Especially since it didn't really work the first time.

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I'm sure Reese Witherspoon was really wary of her Oscar gown pick last night, especially after the Golden Globes duplicate dress debacle. But I don't understand this dress. Why do I get the feeling it was inspired by Liberace's dining room chandelier? Go with something a bit simpler next time, honey. Ryan's face will get you all the attention you need.

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Can someone explain to me why Charlize Theronis wearing a satin cat on her shoulder? Why, Charlize? You would've actually looked decent without your shoulder pad purse.

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What in hell was Naomi Watts thinking? I know you weren't nominated and it sucks, and I know King King was not a great financial success and probably set you back a few points with the critics, and I know your love life sucks meanwhile your best gal Nicole Kidman is getting married, but did you really have to take it out on Nana's old drapes?

Best Dressed

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The always classy and graceful Ziyi Zhang looked beautiful in this get-up last night. Unlike some other actresses (cough-cough Keira Knightley cough-cough) that don't have as Fergie would say "lovely lady lumps," she knows what dresses work for her body. And this one most definitely does. By the way, I hear she might be dating Jake Gyllenhaal. Hm...

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Chris Evans is a junior at Marymount Manhattan College, studying Communications. He hopes to enter the television and film industry once he graduates, and continue his obsession with Johnny Depp and Christina Aguilera.
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Academy Awards Red Carpet: Best and Worst Dressed
Published: March 07, 2006
Type: Opinion
Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Film and TV Business
Writer: Chris Evans
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Comments

#1 — March 7, 2006 @ 08:33AM — Nancy

I must disagree on Felicity Huffman's outfit: with a figure (or lack thereof) like that, wearing a dress like that just demonstrates her wishful thinking. A BAD choice for her. She looks pitiful.

#2 — March 7, 2006 @ 11:05AM — Don Baiocchi [URL]

Nancy, I disagree. I thought Felicity looked fantastic. It's Jennifer Aniston's dress that I think is highly overrated. It's just black with a train. Boring!

and could someone please explain Jennifer Lopez's nuclear orange glow and the curtains attached to her dress at the hips?

#3 — March 7, 2006 @ 11:37AM — Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem [URL]

I don't usually get into fashion commentary but I agree Jessica Alba had on a fabulous gown. I loved many of them and wonder why fashion commentaries seem to be more about attacking the person than the cut, line, fabric and fit of the dress.

#4 — March 7, 2006 @ 12:19PM — Judith

One of my favorite actresses--Judi Dench--didn't even earn a picture????? We're not talking youth vs. age, we're supposed to be talking actresses.

#5 — March 7, 2006 @ 12:29PM — Nancy

The one that bowled me over - and not with admiration - was the outfit worn by Helena Bonham Carter. Good lord, she looked like she'd just crawled out of a dryer after a bout with 5 yards of blue satin - and the satin won. Maybe the film or lighting wasn't right, but I thought the green in J Lo's dress was very bad for her coloring. Made her skin look green, too. Obviously, beauty is in the eye of the beholder: I still maintain that Felicity Huffman is far too bony & flat to wear an outfit like that, unless one is turned on by itty bitty titties & boylike figures.

I would have liked to have seen Dame Judi's gown. She has class. For the record, I thought Dolly Parton's dress was nice, too. Not many others could carry it off like she did, because of it's very pastel coloring, but she did.

Several people had dresses that would have been very nice if it hadn't been for what looked like scarves trailing after them, like untied sashes. Were those supposed to be trains? They looked like pieces of leftover fabric someone accidently left stuck in the rear zipper.

In general, I was struck by the relative paucity of glitz - a lot of people were bare of jewelry, & could have desperately used a necklace, earrings, etc. to fill in the big blank between face & dress - and makeup. A lot of them looked downright pasty. I'm not yearning for Divine in Pink Flamingos, but for a big evening occasion, with big gowns, etc. a bare or minimal face is inappropriate, it would seem to me.

#6 — March 7, 2006 @ 14:12PM — Michael J. West [URL]

Forgive me for deviating from this list, but there was only one actress at the Academy Awards whose dress was an absolute 10: Salma Hayek.

#7 — March 7, 2006 @ 17:25PM — Sophi

Jennifer aniston was beautiful, I love that Rochas that she wore...

#8 — March 7, 2006 @ 18:09PM — Mel

I thought Meryl looked really good - finally. The dress I thought really flattered her and the deep cut neck was fabulous.

I also agree with the choice of Ms. Hayek - she looks great in almost anything though!

Felicity's dress only emphasized how flat she is and i didn't care for the skirt at all - it looked awkwardly cut.

Jennifer Aniston looked like a yawn in diamonds - way too safe and boring. She should've amped it up a bit.

Charlize - yuck! Why on earth would you wear something that adds poundage to the hips like that? I don't care how thin you are, no woman on God's green earth would believe that's a good look. And that bow!! What was she thinking? She is normally so graceful and classy but Sunday night was a big step to the left 'cause it certainly wasn't right!

#9 — March 8, 2006 @ 21:10PM — suzanne

I think that Jessica Alba was by far the best dressed at the oscars. Besides being georgous her dress was unbelievable and suited her perfectly!!!!

#10 — March 15, 2006 @ 14:55PM — Ivy

i think tha jennifer annitston and reese witherspoon look great....! they shouldn't be on worst dressed

#11 — March 15, 2006 @ 15:28PM — Chris Evans [URL]

Jennifer is not on the Worst Dressed list. She's on the best dressed.

#12 — March 27, 2007 @ 08:26AM — Tyhlia

This dresses was very great. Ther R more than more than 1 dress i liked alot. The Queen's was
the best.

Tyhlia, 13 year old

#13 — September 22, 2007 @ 19:41PM — Loliti

I actually like Helena Bonham Carter's dress! I cant see anything wrong with it! Its simple and has a nice fit, and it isnt trashy. Her hair is in a cute updo. I think she looks gorgeous in tha "im not trying, but i look great" kinda way. Tim Burton scares me a bit tho lol. He looks like he stuck his finger in a plug socket. Anyways, I think the only reason she is on the worst dressed list is because she has a reputation for dressing quirky... this dress is an exeption!

#14 — January 21, 2008 @ 17:29PM — grace

All dresses were horrible. at school i am named drama queen,posh spice and Rhianna last 2 because of my hair cut.I no fashion. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING. ITS JUST PLAIN UGLY, HITTIOUS, HORRIBLE,DISCUSTING.....................
SOME HADE NICE COLOURS NICE SHAPE OR BODY LANGUAGE...... BUT IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHO WEARS IT, WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE IN IT AND THEY ACCESORIES.

#15 — January 21, 2008 @ 17:32PM — grace

THIS IS GRACE AGAIN/POSH SPICE AND RHIANNA....
DID I MENSION THEY WERE HORRIBLE.

#16 — February 18, 2008 @ 21:16PM — Jen

Helena Bonham Carter shouldnt be on the worst dressed list...i love her dress, her and tim burton look great!

#17 — April 2, 2008 @ 19:14PM — mel

ha. too bad someone can't even spell hideous or put together a proper sentence.
=)

anyways,
i thought the majority of these ladies were dressed decently. i love love loved Charlize Theron's updo.

#18 — July 12, 2008 @ 14:13PM — Stargirl

I think that a couple of the dresses in the worst dressed list are really pretty. Like Reese Witherspoon, she looked totally fab.

But then again, it's an "opinion".

#19 — July 22, 2008 @ 05:25AM — HelenaBonhamCartersPoppit

Helena and Tim look gorgeous! Helena's dress was really simple and sweet... And Tim's tie was interesting, at least.

#20 — September 16, 2008 @ 21:57PM — lacie

i disagree with Helena Bonham Carter's critique. i think she always looks beautiful and deserves to be recognized for all the hard work she has done. i also love tim burton too! he is always so mysterious just like johnny depp!

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