He Kissed A Girl - Virgo In Relationship: Astrology-Based Advice
Published March 07, 2006
Hi Elsa,
About three months ago, I made a huge mistake. I kissed a friend of mine. She's intelligent, driven, mature, and beautiful... but I'm dating someone else.
My girlfriend is a good person, and she was there for me during a really bad period in my life. I know I could plod along with her and be fine and I'd probably be ok with it. But part of me wonders what life would be like with my friend.
At the same time, I don't think I'm good enough for her. I have no idea why she cares about me. Part of me thinks we should be together, but part of me thinks I would just hold her back. And I don't feel right breaking up with my girlfriend just because there might be something better.
I'm not sure what to do... any advice?
Jupiter in Scorpio
Dear Jupiter,
It's heartening to see a 23 year-old man who thinks about someone besides himself, and I very much appreciate your desire to be loyal. However, I think your number one loyalty needs to be to yourself. And I don't think "plodding along" is a very good way to live.
That your girlfriend provided support when you needed it does not surprise me. Class attracts class! You're a good person, she's a good person, and so you hooked up and had this exchange. That's great, but it does not obligate you to be her boyfriend for life.
I do think you have some responsibility though. You have a responsibility to be true to your emotions, and to be emotionally honest with her. And it's obvious you want to be "clean" in this... what Virgo doesn't? So I would suggest you resolve your feelings about the one girl before focusing on the other. You know. Consider your current relationship, independent from the other.
So do you want to stay romantically involved with your girlfriend? Because it doesn't sound like you do. Friends, yes. But it sounds like you're looking for something else, something more on the romance front.
If this is so, you have to tell her. You have to free yourself and her in the process. If you do go this route, I don't know if she will want to maintain a friendship with you. But it's worth a try. And in whatever case, you will have acted with integrity and at that point, you can move on to your next task. Facing your fear around the woman you want, for example.
Good luck.
~~
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- He Kissed A Girl - Virgo In Relationship: Astrology-Based Advice
- Published: March 07, 2006
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: Family and Relationships, Culture: Society
- Part of a feature: Astrology-Based Advice
- Writer: Elsa
- Elsa's BC Writer page
- Elsa's personal site
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Comments on this articleComments
Good point, Dan. I read that differently than you did and though I can't say for sure (the post is several months old and I don't remember specifically) it's very possible my editor got a hold of it and cut some of what was written.
The questions come in very long most times. I answer them, edit them and then send to my editor who works them even further. He tries very hard to keep the essence of the posts in tact, while making the questions as concise as possible. But he is not infallible and at times something critical gets cut... something that shaped my response.
We have been at this for about six months now and are constantly honing what we do. We are more aware of this as a potential problem than we were. Our attention is on this problem and though it could still happen, it will hopefully occur with a very low frequency, because it's embarrassing to me when it does.
Thanks for your comment. I appreciate the heads up and the reminder to be very careful.
I am also in a double mind. And need advice on a similar backgroud. I met a guy at a party and even though we hardly knew eachother he ended up kissing me. We have had a couple physical encounters since then. We do not get a chance to meet often since we live in two states far away. But, heres the strage part - everytime he sees me, I just see it in his eyes ...that he feels more for me. But he is not ready to commit. And so I decided to quit and stopped staying in touch, but then he gets back to me...to make things appear as normal. I wonder what could be the reason of his inconsistent behavior? He was in a very long term relationship before this, could it be that or the fact that he is focusing on his career and since I am all settled and have better education and a steady job...he just wants to be my friend? What should I do? Should I pursue this any further? Is there any chance of us being together once he has a better career? Do you think he is just physically attracted towards me? I kind of like him as a person. But also wonder about his settlement etc.
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Wow, why would you advise someone who, judging by some aspects of the letter, may be on the emotionally unstable side to break up with a decent girlfriend for a friend he has a crush on?