Since I love each and every one of you like you were my baby mama, here are my thoughts on the new movies coming out this weekend (all two of 'em) expressed in haiku form. Remember, I use lower case for everything, because I bust my haiku all ee cummings-style, yo.

That sound you hear is e.e. cummings turning over in his grave. Violently.

something new

sanaa needs a man
boy toy trumps race/class issues
girl gets her swirl on

when a stranger calls

meh - been there, done that
jamster ads are scarier
this rose ain't got jack

And that, as they say, is that. You might want to just stay home, chuck some popcorn in the microwave, and rent Corpse Bride or Bubble.

Drew has run his Script-O-Rama into the ground for years now, where he's currently running his annual "Predict The Oscars ... Poorly" Contest. A contest which you might as well enter since you have a much better chance of winning than your rigged office pool.