Dec. 18th: There's only a few days left before Christmas, and all I want is the highest possible score. The problem is people have a head start on me. Apparently, waiting outside Best Buy for 46 hours on launch day unlocked extra achievements. Well, at least that's what a message board post told me.

There's only one way to put this on even ground: Slap Microsoft with a multi-billion dollar lawsuit because their systems are defective and they know it. Mine may work and it's well within the warranty stage, but this is for the people. That, and a full system recall would solve my problem.

Dec. 28th: It's been 10 long days since I filed the lawsuit. A judge threw it out even after going for the "Xbox 360 made me kidnap someone" angle. Jack Thompson will apparently be taking that case in a civil court with me. He told me he's the best, and why couldn't he be trusted?

Jan. 4th: Games have come and gone. The ones that failed to arrive via rental I had to buy. There was no choice. Let's face it; it's only a matter of time before other people have every launch title on their shelves. From there, they'll soon have every Achievement Point. That can't happen. I broke the 2,000-point marker the other day, but I realized some games only have Achievements if you play online. I need an Xbox Live Kit... now.

Jan. 5th: I'm online, and I realize how dire this situation is. I'm ranked so low in worldwide stats, Microsoft doesn't even acknowledge me as a user. I learn of the Xbox Live Arcade where I can play more games for Achievement Points. Better yet, these are games I've owned before! Let's face it. $24.99 for Joust is a hell of a deal so I can play it on my 360 instead of free on my PC. Better yet, by knocking that frickin' bird off the pedestal, I can earn more points. That's what really matters here.

Jan. 8th: I probably should have gone to work these past few weeks (at least once). I got the call today saying I have an extended weekend. I thought that was nice of them. My boss didn't seem to understand the situation at hand and how important it was to impress people like "IAteYoMomma" and "I Hate Xbox," online people I'll never meet, but seem like fine, upstanding chaps. They're my peers, and in order to become a member of their ranks, I need to play more Dead or Alive 4 for Achievement Points.