I've struggled with this entry. Why, you ask? Was it because the title is remarkably insensitive to those who don't have enough to eat? Well, yes, a little - I can't help that I'm a bleeding-heart liberal, in whom higher education has instilled a constant awareness of "the other," and with it an unrelenting sense of empathy. But, to be truthful, this was not my primary concern, regardless of how terrible that sounds. No, I was more worried about just how psychotic the title of this entry was going to make me sound.

I've already touched on the obsessive tendencies that I believe need to be cultivated, in some degree, in order to achieve significant, life-changing weight loss. But, these tendencies have done more than just propel me to the gym five times a week, rain or shine. They've forced me to fall in love with the effects of my own hunger. I'm not kidding.

I'm mortified that I'm about to describe these tendencies in detail, but I guess that's what this weblog is for: I derive a sick and twisted pleasure from 1) feeling ravenously, uncomfortably hungry, and 2) listening to my stomach growl angrily, as I push it to this point of discomfort. It was worst in the winter of 2005. This was when I encountered my most rapid weight loss, immediately following my "Strip Poker" revelation; I was exercising fiendishly, and making sure to count my calories judiciously, and I was hungry as hell while I did it. This is probably why I grew to enjoy these feelings. If I hadn't, I would have killed myself, or (more likely) my boss.

Here's an exercise: eat a piece of 40-calorie, low-carbohydrate toast. (Note: this toast tastes like cardboard, if cardboard were blander). Oh! I almost forgot: you can jazz up the low-calorie toast with a spoonful of low-calorie strawberry jam. Then, go to the gym, and run for forty-five minutes. If you're 240 pounds (my weight at the time), you'll probably burn around 750 to 800 calories. Finally, go to work, and refrain from eating anything until noon. Do this for a couple of days, and you will come close to losing your mind. Eventually, something like the following conversation will occur: