Brangelina Baby Cuteness Protection Goggles Auctioned on eBay
Published January 26, 2006
Baby Cuteness Protection Goggles designed specifically to protect individuals from the unseen cuteness of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's offspring.
Written by Joe Wilson
LOS ANGELES (PoopyCaca.com) - Fake news Web site PoopyCaca.com is following up on the auction of a Jar of Celebrity Air and a Celebrity Doormat with the auction of a pair of Brangelina Baby Cuteness Protection Goggles, 100% of which will benefit the American Red Cross.
During a press conference at the UCLA Medical Center - Cuteness Studies Center, renowned cuteness expert, Dr. Cornelius O'Toole, said, "Recent studies have shown that exposure to cuteness causes changes in brain chemistry and that the biological response to these chemical changes, should they occur on a grand scale, could potentially be hazardous to ones health."
"These two genetically blessed movie stars are now having a baby and the combination of this particular genetic bouillabaisse will result in the cutest baby in recorded history, which may be a health hazard if viewed without protection, hence the need for the B.C.P.G.," said Dr. O'Toole.
Images of Tom Cruise form a protective layer of crazy.
The goggles use two images of Tom Cruise, which are placed in each lens, which, according to Dr. O'Toole, "forms a protective layer of crazy." Two pinholes, similar to those used for viewing a solar eclipse, have been installed in each of the images, which filters out the excess cuteness.
The auction of Brangelina Baby Cuteness Protection Goggles runs through February 1, 2006 and all proceeds will be donated to the American Red Cross.
A diagram issued by the UCLA Medical Center's Cuteness Study Center demonstrating the potential health hazards of being exposed to excess cuteness.
- Brangelina Baby Cuteness Protection Goggles Auctioned on eBay
- Published: January 26, 2006
- Type: Satire
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire
- Writer: PoopyCaca
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Comments on this articleComments
This is too funny. And I LOVE the visual aid explaining the story and the danger.
Scott - glad you liked it.
The bidding for the goggles is up to $6.50, all of which goes to the American Red Cross. Hopefully it will go higher and soon.
Item number: 6477448616 on eBay.
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I've heard fears about the Brangelina Baby's cuteness already, but I can't help thinking: if the child looks like his/her parents, it'll have bug eyes, bad skin, and malformed lips.