Fat and Prejudice
Published January 20, 2006
Edna 's prophecy hung in the air as the "fatties" and I left our Cheeto mess and headed for the two-foot high slide.
My workout time, though healthy for my body, is like junk food for my mind. It's my time to indulge in the delicious crunch of celebrity gossip and sex tips, which according to my mom, I need. "Why America Hates Fat Women! See the story on page 106." The article title was perfectly positioned to the left of a famous American stick insect who seduced me with her pointy clavicle from the cover. Okay, I thought, page 106. I hopped on the elliptical and flipped through the magazine. There were pink charts and graphs, measuring how prejudiced American's were against fat people. In one poll, 79% of Americans reported that they would not use an overweight personal trainer. What, that low? I questioned, sweat beginning to mat my bangs to my forehead. I increased the resistance and pounded away. A woman next to me lowered her resistance and sighed. Not going to get skinny like that, I chastised her in my mind. And then I felt ashamed. Was I prejudiced? I certainly wouldn't go to an overweight personal trainer. It would be like asking a dentist to fix your plumbing. Right?
Weighing in at 130 on a 5' 8" frame, my physique was somewhere between Oprah and Uma. The summer after I had mono, my weight climbed to almost 150, my all time high. After my then-boyfriend proposed, I had an impetus to drop the weight. Forget the wedding dress, I was going to have sex for the first time. I needed to look good. I transformed myself from nerdish, booky type to nerdish runner type. Though I shed very few pounds, fat transformed to muscle and my size 8 slowly slipped down to a size 4. I felt amazing. Then I found out my size was 3 times smaller than the average American woman. My sisters, all vibrant buxom women, began to poke fun at me. My mom even declared that if I got smaller she would never talk to me again. My whole life I had derided "skinnies," with distain. In college my friends and I fantazised about cramming collegiate tanorexics full of Twinkies and Ho-Hos. Was I now the subject of this distain? Worried, I made my husband buy me a Big Mac.
"Want a diet coke?" he asked, holding my paper cup in front of the fountain.
"No!" I shouted. "Make it a real one!"
- Fat and Prejudice
- Published: January 20, 2006
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Tastes
- Filed Under: Culture: Media, Tastes: Food and Drink, Culture: Society
- Writer: Lyz Baranowski
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- Lyz Baranowski's personal site
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Comments on this articleComments
Thanks, for the nice comment! Don't worry, give me a year and I'll be up to "normal" because I'm still drinking real coke. I'll get mine, just you wait.
Insightful post Lyz, having been skinny and then 'fat' because of two pregnancies I know exactly what you are talking about.
But I have come to terms with my body. Its all about eating right, excercising and enjoying life. If that means I will remain overweight or what they call plump so be it.
Till the time my health chart remains green I'm gonna go and enjoy an occassional midnight ice cream or a cream soda.
And, hey if you want to loose weight go ahead don't let anyone talk you out of it.
Its just that by losing weight you are messing with their perception of you and thereby moving them away from their comfort zones.
Its all about being happy at the end of the day.
Oh! and I'm against all kinds of junk foods for kids and I hardly have any at home.
Swingingpuss says:
"Its just that by losing weight you are messing with their perception of you and thereby moving them away from their comfort zones"
Exactly! I love this. And Lyz, this was a good post.
I know I need to eat healthier, and make the exercise routine more -- routine
For me it's such a freaky paradox. I know losing weight will be easier on my joints, and at times I feel my body betraying me, part of being 40something I guess. Yet with my 7+ years in martial arts training - I have more confidence in the things my body can do, than I ever did when I weighed less. Reflexes, balance and power are qualities I can depend on now.
I also suppose being more rounded blackbelt could be a role model for other women
It really is about fear of being fat or being skinny. Our weight defines who we are and losing pounds or gaining pounds is equivalent to losing ourselves. It both makes sense and is sad all at the same time.
You've tackled a bitter divide with sweet-and-sour writing. We'd all be better off if more of the people who obsess over this issue would obsess with your compassion and insight.
Victor, thank you!
I recommend Mireille Guiliano's *French Women Don't Get Fat*. I don't consider McDonald's to be "real" food. In fact, I see greater similarities between our American diet and that of battery chickens. Our concern shouldn't be with our weight but with the quality and taste of our food. And refusing to consume for consumption's sake.
I agree! Food should be enjoyed not abhorred. That would be a start at fixing America's problem. We view food as an inconvienence, the awful thing that makes us fat or as a comfort mechanism, never as something to be enjoyed.
Thank you very much.
Awesome post! Two of your many excellent points really rang true to me:
I can relate completely to the competition that arises on those cardio machines in the gym. If it's slow and I'm alone I don't run as hard or fast. Put one woman in the room with me and the game is ON (especially if she's skinnier than I am!).
I also know the feeling of obsessing about other women's bodies- how far those clavicles protrude is some measure of beauty. ODD!
Thanks for this post!
No, thank you :)
I too am uber competitive. There is more tension in our house when we play scrabble than there was during the entire cold war.
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Lyz:
Killer post! Superb! You hit all the weight/guilt/judgment/self-esteem issues absolutely dead on. (Even if I do hate you for being a (gulp) size 4 )--lol...