10. Tom- LEAVE EVERYONE ALONE! You just sold MySpace for a measly half-billion dollars; I think it's time to get a life.

9. Annoying Business Proprietor - Believe us, your T-shirt company has everyone impressed (I'm sure the orders for Baby Tees are just pouring in) but it would be nice if you stopped posting your ads in every single profile. Too, this applies to all you out-of-work models, pay-to-print authors, and graphic artists.

8. Hater/User- Though it makes you feel better to bash MySpace in front of your friends, it's hard to reconcile that with the fact that you use it all the time. Oh yeah, no one believes that someone else made the account for you.

7. Self-Righteous Emo Kid - So wearing tight pants, eye make-up and listening to bands that have hypocritically become popular by not being "mainstream" gives you the position of judging everyone else? Regardless of your membership to the MySpace Democrats, you're not exactly anti-establishment when you frequent Rupert Murdoch's latest acquisition.

6. Young Whore- Despite the fact that precedent seems to dictate all girls must post provocative, degrading pictures of themselves, anyone under 15 years old is crossing the disgusting line. Focus on getting your learner's permit and growing out of your "awkward phase" before you commit full-time to being the next statutory rape victim.

5. No Shirt Guy - We know you think that your bare chest is the ticket to the female promised land, but you're wrong for two reasons: 1) You're really not attractive 2) Girls hear the "I'm an idiot" that your picture screams so very, very loudly.

4. Explicit User Name - We understand the disappointment in realizing that your picture has failed to entice anyone to visit your profile, however, that does not justify using profane terms to get attention. The words "Sex," "Horny" or "Fuck," do little to compensate for your cripplingly boring personality and repulsive ugliness.