NEWS

Cannibalism Legal in Russia

Written by Alisha Karabinus
Published November 18, 2005

Two young Russian brothers, ages 16 and 19, reportedly murdered a friend of theirs and, along with their mother, fried up the liver and heart, and ate them.

One wonders if they enjoyed a nice chianti with their dinner.

I wish I could say this was a joke or label it satire, but apparently it's quite real. What's more is that though the boys have been arrested for murder, the mother has not — because there is no law against cannibalism on the books in Russia. I suppose someone assumed (incorrectly) that they didn't have to make the stricture against chewing on ones' neighbors official.

Oops.

So rather than being charged with conspiracy or anything at all, the mother is being treated as a witness, according to the the Moscow Times.

"Unfortunately, there is nothing in the criminal code that addresses cannibalism, and she didn't take part in the murder," [deputy prosecutor] Yudin said. "She is now considered strictly a witness in the case."

Apparently, the murder occurred on November 3, 2005, after the two brothers and their friend got drunk and argued over a stolen stereo. Sergei and Igor Zimbovich strangled the victim, 26 year old Mikhail Sheremet with a scarf and set out to dismember the body. Because, y'know, it's a lot easier to dispose of chunks of your pals rather than the entire set.

Dear old mom walked in on the scene, and instead of keeling over from a heart attack, screeching, calling the police, or even grounding her sons, she instead reportedly suggested that they throw down on the deceased innards.

What a lovely picture of domesticity! Mom and sons, laughing and chatting over a meal with their dinner guest. Or rather, a meal of their dinner guest.

What I find most surprising is that the Rostov region of Russia actually has, according to the same story in the Moscow Times, a famous cannibal (Andrei Chikatilo, who raped, murdered, and munched on 52 victims between 1978 and 1991... 52!), and yet there is no law against cannibalism. Apparently, there's not yet been a case in which the eater did not do the actual killing.

You gotta wonder if the locals aren't gonna maybe start up a petition or something after this one blows over. Either that, or I'd watch my back if the price of groceries goes up.

Keep reading for information and comments on this article, and add some feedback of your own!
Cannibalism Legal in Russia
Published: November 18, 2005
Type: News
Section: Tastes
Filed Under: Tastes: Food and Drink, Culture: Society
Writer: Alisha Karabinus
Alisha Karabinus's BC Writer page
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Comments

#1 — November 18, 2005 @ 15:49PM — Tan The Man [URL]

Wow. You can kind of forgive canibalism in dire cases, but.... wow.

#2 — November 18, 2005 @ 16:22PM — Alisha Karabinus [URL]

I know.

You just can't make this stuff up.

#3 — November 18, 2005 @ 16:36PM — Natalie Bennett [URL]

It does seem to be a pathology that has recurred throughout history. You'd have thought the Russians would have run into it before.

#4 — November 18, 2005 @ 17:02PM — Phillip Winn [URL]

Maybe you can kind of forgive cannibalism in dire cases, Tan...

Me, I'm kind of in the "so starve to death" camp.

#5 — November 18, 2005 @ 18:08PM — Alisha Karabinus [URL]

Sweet! Come the apocalypse, I want to be locked up with Phillip -- I can trust him.

.....and maybe I can spear his unsuspecting ass and barbecue him!

#6 — November 18, 2005 @ 19:08PM — Anthony Grande

Natalie, what do you think about Cannibalism being illegal in the U.S.?

#7 — November 18, 2005 @ 20:04PM — Mat Brewster [URL]

Some friends of mine and I once had a discussion on who we would eat if circumstances became so dire as to necessitate it. As usual, the fat guy lost.

#8 — November 18, 2005 @ 20:18PM — RJ [URL]

Heh...

Fine post! :-)

#9 — November 18, 2005 @ 20:26PM — RJ [URL]

I can certainly see some circumstances in which cannibalism would be acceptable...

Let's say you are trapped, during winter, on a mountain. Due to the frigid weather, you are unable to climb down the mountain and get help. With you are 20 other guys.

Guy #1 dies, and lays in the snow. In other words, he's been stuffed in a freezer, and he won't until spring.

Guy #2 and guy #3 also die. A month has passed. It will still be another two months until the weather warms enough to allow an escape from the mountain.

However, in two months everyone else will be dead from starvation. Sure, there is plenty of water to "drink" from the snow on the ground. But there is absolutely nothing to eat.

Except the flesh of the dead.

So. You have a choice: Slowly starve to death, or subsist on the frozen remains of your dead colleagues.

If you are able to remain alive due to eating the flesh of your deceased companions, you may be able to eventually climb back down the mountain and find civilization.

If you refuse to dine on the flesh of the dead, you will also die.

Me, I think I could hold my nose and do it.

YMMV...

#10 — November 18, 2005 @ 20:27PM — RJ [URL]

"Guy #1 dies, and lays in the snow. In other words, he's been stuffed in a freezer, and he won't until spring."

He won't ROT until Spring, I meant...

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