Dear Craig,

They say there's no rest for the wicked. I guess that means I'm not as naughty as I used to be. I try, but there's only so much one can do when one cannot bend one's neck. Sigh. The little bit of extra sleep is much appreciated, but I'd rather be watching you.

Monologue: L.A. had rain all day. Rain makes everyone go crazy. Some of the audience members were from L.A. and braved the rain to attend the show. Whoa! That's a rare and beautiful thing, Craiggles.

There's a reality TV crew is following you around and it makes you feel dirty. As long as we get to see, we don't care. Not really. We do care. And that's why there are so many people jumping on the reality show bandwagon.

Reality shows are over. When you start comparing them to bathrooms, it's time to move on to something new. You talked briefly about Billy Connolly's rap on washroom attendants. Given the prevalance of multiple people entering bathroom stalls for drugs, sex, whatever, the one washroom attendant was said to utter, "When someone comes in to take a crap, it's like a breath of fresh air."

Why do people agree to be on reality TV shows? According to Dr. Drew, it all comes down to narcissism. You're not a narcissist, though. You're on a 12:30am on CBS.

CSI: Vatican City - a maverick pope who refuses to play by the rules. Cute. Very cute. Especially the accent.

Email: Mark, Bellville, MI - "have you ever been featured in a porno movie?" "Parts of me. Parts of me have been in a porno movie."" Kelly, Atlantic City, NJ - "My brother is a very heavy sleeper and I want to wake him up in a very funny way." "Let him sleep, unless he's driving." Jessica, Collins, NY - "I was wondering what I should get my boyfriend for Christmas." "A vacuum cleaner."

Sketch: Prince Charles and Camilla just returned to England. The Rather Late Programme with Prince Charles - oh, the humanity! The costume. Even you cracked up over the whole thing. The teeth. The hair. The ears. Even funnier was Parchment. Where do you come up with this stuff? How is it possible to be fresh and funny night after night after night? I guess it shouldn't matter. I should just be grateful for the great entertainment.