Dear Craig,

Big sigh and many smiles. I finally get a chance to just sit and write to you for a change. It's been crazy weird here and you remain the one constant. The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson is the highlight of my day. I know I sound like a broken record, but I know I can smile and laugh myself silly whenever the show is on.

Monologue: Election day and you can't vote. You can vote on American Idol, but you can't yet vote in the state or national elections. Soon, Craig. Soon. In the meantime, be glad that you don't have to choose on some of these crazy propositions. It's absolutely insane in California. We keep voting on the

America has a history of famous people running for office. Ben Affleck, apparently, is being groomed for politics. "It makes perfect sense 'cause he's got the acting range of a young Schwarzenegger...and he's got the gorgeous head of hair of a young Ronald Reagan." Carrying more weight is the talk of Warren Beatty someday running for office, one can only imagine the scandals that would arise. "I had sex with the governor and I rather enjoyed it."

Regarding Schwarzenegger and Beatty, it seems that Warren Beatty's been following the Governator around, talking down "Ahnold's" ballot measures. All I can say is this - in some circles, what Beatty's doing is considered "stalking".

Talk of the Boobs Not Bombs protest at the capitol building in Sacramento brought about a big response. Um, not that kind of big response, but more in the way of people applauding over the mere mention of women removing their clothing during the protest. As you stated, it's sort of difficult to imagine the whole point of their campaign.

If you were mayor of New York, you'd remove all the "T"s from Donald Trump's buildings. Rump Towers. Coincidentally, that was your exotic dancer name. "I was a naughty construction worker." Hmmm. More butt talk. I'm sensing a pattern here.

While on the subject of Donald Trump, you said you think his hair should be on display in a zoo. I missed the rest of this because I was laughing so hard. Trump's hair is so horrible. It's the sort of thing you can't help but stare at for long periods of time. It's disturbing and quite the curiosity. You also can't help but talk about it.