The Joys of Public Toilets
Published November 02, 2005
I'm limiting myself to women's toilets, because I don't know what goes on in the men's room.
Okay, girls, who among you is peeing on the toilet seats, and how do you manage it, given the limitations of anatomy?
And what exactly is the fun of festooning an entire roll of toilet paper around the stall?
And what's with not flushing? Trying to conserve water?
I've been meditating on public restrooms since the other day, when I found myself using one which had no toilet paper. Always prepared, I fished out a small pack of tissues from the bottom of my purse, where they had been since the Carter administration. Unfortunately, they had morphed back into their original form, that of wood pulp. A teeny tiny piece of plank.
As I attempted to rip this block of wood into some semblance of paper, I could hear muttering from the waiting line (there is always a line at the women's room). I finally found a pair of sales receipts and finished the job.
Next time I'll try to hold it until I get home.
- The Joys of Public Toilets
- Published: November 02, 2005
- Type: Satire
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire, Culture: Society
- Writer: Miriam
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- Miriam's personal site
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Try the bathrooms at Penn Station in NYC. The smell is usually somewhere along the lines of a fish market dumpster crossed with a sulfur mine.
Great post!
Mark is right on the $ about Penn Station. There aren't enough public toilets here in NYC anyway. The men's rooms are always a mess. No one knows how to lift a toilet seat, flush a toilet, etc.
But what about in other countries? I've seen some "lovely" toilets in Egypt, Turkey, Thailand, Malaysia, etc. My favorite was in Thailand (it's just a hole in the floor w/ no bowl). I could see the river flowing under the hole. Just lovely.
I'll let you all in on a secret, if you promise not to tell...
The next time you're driving down the Interstate, and nature calls, and you take the next exit off the highway, do NOT stop at a gas station or a chain restaurant. Instead, stop at a quality chain hotel. They tend to keep their restrooms pretty clean.
I recommend going behind a bush if the toilet is too dirty. And I'm a girl.
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The ones on the NJ Turnpike are always a joy: they invariably have pools of water on the floor from endless mopping. Of what, I will not speculate. The MD/VA rest stops are usually well kept. Ohio seems to have shut all theirs: they have them, but they're always shut down - all of them - for renovations.