SATIRE

The Burger King is Dead...

Written by ChaunceyBillups
Published October 22, 2005


Who was Gordon Lee? Well, he's dead.

Gordon Lee has died.

He was the fat kid in the original "Little Rascals" series. He played Porky in the 1930's version of the show. Not only that, but he was a racial pioneer.

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Lee recalled a warm friendship with his black costar when they were kids and praised their interracial relationship on screen, saying, "Buckwheat played an absolute equal part in the Gang."
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If it wasn't for a freak genetic disorder that banished him to obscurity, he likely would have parlayed his talents in the area of race relations to a position in the civil rights movement.

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Lee told friends his career ended when a growth spurt made him thinner. "They wanted Porky to be a chunky fellow, so they looked for someone else," McClain said.
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Have no fear though, for a short half-century later, he was back on top. Not as actor, mind you, but instead as a powerful broker in the lucrative Hollywood Memorabilia industry.

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In recent years, Lee sold autographed photos of himself as Porky, Tolzmann and McClain said

"Before that he felt like he was forgotten," McClain said. "It really made him feel good about himself."
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Not quite as good, however, as the feeling that came from being the inspiration behind one of the most infamous and popular ad-campaigns of all time.




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You can view more work by myself at Ryan Clark Holiday.com. Another Tucker Max review I have written can be viewed in my Blogcritics archive or here
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The Burger King is Dead...
Published: October 22, 2005
Type: Satire
Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Film and TV Business, Culture: Society, Culture: Media, Video: Television
Writer: ChaunceyBillups
ChaunceyBillups's BC Writer page
ChaunceyBillups's personal site
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Comments

#1 — October 22, 2005 @ 13:52PM — Natalie Davis [URL]

It's a shame they didn't have that Meatnormous sandwich back in his teen years; that might have saved his acting career.

More seriously, though, may he rest in peace.

#2 — October 22, 2005 @ 19:02PM — bro [URL]

hahaha

#3 — October 23, 2005 @ 15:38PM — Victor Lana [URL]

I didn't know Gordon Lee was the inspiration for the Burger King. I do know that King is quite weird-looking, and it's too bad he didn't fall off that log in the commercial.

RIP, Mr. Lee.

#4 — October 23, 2005 @ 18:18PM — ryan [URL]

why would you want him to fall off that log?

#5 — October 23, 2005 @ 18:24PM — Chelsea Snyder [URL]

By far the creepiest BK commercial is the one advertising their new coffee. Apparently, the King is on a caffeine buzz. Waking up next to the King? I can deal with. Finding him in the middle of a forest? Okay. But this? Donwright scary, should not be broadcast around small children...

#6 — October 23, 2005 @ 19:49PM — Baronius

Wow, these comments are a relief. I thought I was the only one who was totally creeped out by that Burger King.

#7 — October 23, 2005 @ 19:59PM — Natalie Davis [URL]

Mr. Baronius, this may be the one thing on which we agree. The King is too creepy for words. Gives me chills, and not the good kind.

#8 — October 23, 2005 @ 20:15PM — Bennett

I dunno, the NFL commercials are a riot.

#9 — October 23, 2005 @ 20:23PM — phil

creepy is a good word here

#10 — October 23, 2005 @ 20:37PM — ryan [URL]

i like the one where he slaps the construction worker on the back and the due almost falls to his death

#11 — October 23, 2005 @ 22:17PM — Victor Lana [URL]

Ryan,

I want him to fall off that log so he croaks. There has not been a creepier spokesperson than Wendy's Clara (Where's the Beef) Peller. It's time for the King to be dead and no long live any other king after.

Maybe they could get a harmless clown or a Colonel in a white suit or a little dog with big ears. That King is definitely too strange.

#12 — October 24, 2005 @ 01:18AM — Rich Powers [URL]

The BK King is the best mascot ever! I even made a tribute page to The King

#13 — October 24, 2005 @ 01:45AM — Natalie Davis [URL]

Hey, how about those Spongemonkeys dumped by Quiznos? I loved them.

#14 — October 24, 2005 @ 02:19AM — ryan [URL]

That's quite the site Rich Powers. Quite the site.

RyanClarkHoliday.com

#15 — November 3, 2005 @ 13:39PM — jacob

yeah. i was at a halloween party this weekend and i looked over to see the burger king man mingling with some people. imagine how freaked out i was.. cuz it always looks like he's staring at you.

#16 — November 4, 2005 @ 20:57PM — ryan [URL]

haha. genius.

#17 — December 7, 2005 @ 19:20PM — steve
#18 — December 16, 2005 @ 00:34AM — ryan [URL]

i'm pretty sure mine is the best

#19 — December 28, 2005 @ 19:47PM — Johnny Virgil [URL]

Yeah, yours is pretty sweet. That new one where he's reaching in the window like King Kong gives me the creeps too. For a split second in there, it looks like he's flipping you off.

#20 — December 31, 2005 @ 14:51PM — Ryan [URL]

hahah

#21 — December 31, 2005 @ 23:45PM — larry [URL]

i watched the Burger King

i watched the Burger King
commericial closely
his majesty is definitly
creepy looking in the
window. eeeww larry







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