I wanted more ability to assert myself in the moment and have been receiving it. Sometimes the situations where I've used it could not have been anticipated. For instance:

When I am feeling down I call a local warm line that is run by mental health consumers with serious mental illness. They have helped me a lot but sometimes . . . you can tell they are mentally ill. I was on their help line talking to a volunteer when he informed me that another person there wanted to use the phone to order some sandwiches. The other person came on the line and told me he wanted to call Subway because he had twenty manic-depressives there for a support group meeting. I said, "You can't interrupt a warm line call to order some sandwiches. Go to the pay phone at the auditorium across the parking lot."

"Oh, I forgot about that." he said. "Good suggestion."

Recently I ordered almost forty dollars worth of restaurant food delivered to me by a company that does this. The delivery company charges more for the food than the restaurant does, then they add delivery charges, then they expect you to tip the driver. The informed me that they were charging twenty cents for the forks. I blew up. I said they were nickel and diming me and should throw in the forks. They did.

Goddess thank you for the presence of mind to speak in the moment. I just would hope for a world where it wasn't quite as necessary.

Manic Depressive Sandwiches--In the manic phase you get everything, in the depressive phase you get just bread.