Dear Craig,

Some days it's just best to stay curled up on the sofa with a cup of hot tea and a stack of Mighty Ferguson videos. It certainly would have cost me less money than my other activities today. But, that's not important. What really matters is spending this time with you tonight. You are the slightly crazed sanity that brings everything back into perspective. Yes, you have that much power, my friend.

Monologue: You've decided to do the show fully clothed. Awww! You won't take your clothes off no matter how much we beg and plead. [Insert boo-boo face here] Wait, you will take more begging and pleading. The reason you're talking that crazy naked talk is because of the new nightclub in London called "Starkers". Nudity is required. Naked dancing people...hmm...in some circles that could be quite interesting. As you pointed out, it would be hard...er...difficult for a man to hide his interest in various woman. And women wouldn't have the WonderBra-enhanced fluff 'n' stuff going on. I can just imagine how rough this might be on couples who visit the club.

"Where you looking at her? You're attracted to her, aren't you?" the woman would ask. The man would reply, "No, of course not!" The woman would look down and a fight would ensue.

Eh, nudists are a fun lot. Whether at a beach or in a nightclub, one must be prepared to see all shapes and sizes in their full glory.

Many great lines were thrown about during the monologue, some of your best, in fact. You are so naughty sometimes. I love it! (Anyone wishing to see the monologue should check the Comedy section of the Late Late Show site. It's worth the effort!)

Email: You mentioned blogs. Not exactly my name or my letters to you, but it's close enough for now. You've done well, Craig. Very well. Consider my clothed nipples saluting your efforts. And by the way, "ennui" is one of my favorite words, Mr. Intuitive.

First guest: Introduction for Melina Kanakaredes leads to a Richard Kind appearance. "What the hell are you doing here, Richard?" you ask. He insists you invited him on. He accuses her of having a little too much Ouzo in the baklava. When he mentions his new series Head Cases, you mention it was cancelled. Poor Richard. He's in denial. No, he's angry. He's livid! And he's very, very funny. I wish they hadn't cancelled the show. I liked it. [cue outrage] You bastards! You killed Head Cases! [/outrage]

After commercials, we finally get our lovely Greek goddess, Melina Kanakaredes. Like me, she's originally from Ohio. Interestingly enough, she's from Akron, former home of my aunt and uncle. You show a clip from CSI: NY and then we get to hear from Melina. She states that she's given it much thought and has decided that she prefers you naked instead of in a Speedo. Being Greek, Kanakaredes has some experience with nude beaches and shares one of her experiences.

Melina's family has a chocolate factory. Growing up, she got to help out. Is that every kid's fantasy or what? She said all her nut clusters ended up looking like turds. I think they look like turds no matter what. Personally, I'm a strong believer in chocolate sans nuts.